A man has revealed his secret obsession is causing him intense guilt and a fear that his girlfriend will leave him if she discovers the truth.
The Secret That's Causing Shame
In a dilemma shared with Metro's advice column, published on January 10, 2026, the reader described himself as a "regular guy" with a good job and fit appearance. However, he harbours a secret he finds "weird and pervy": he loves wearing his girlfriend's silk and lace knickers when she isn't home.
He explained the obsession began around age 14 and he looks forward to times when his partner is away. He told a previous partner, who was "really freaked out", contributing to their eventual breakup. Now, he is terrified of confiding in his current girlfriend, worried she will have a similar reaction and end the relationship.
Expert Advice: Acceptance and Honesty
The advice, provided by counsellor and columnist Laura, challenged the reader's belief that he is alone. She stated that other men also enjoy wearing women's underwear, whether for exploration, escapism, or simply the feel of the fabric.
She noted his use of the word "obsession" suggests it is more of a fetish. Her key recommendations were twofold:
- Seek Self-Acceptance: She suggested Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) not to stop the desire, but to help him feel okay about it, emphasising that it doesn't mean there is something "wrong" with him.
- Stop the Deceit: Laura was firm that the most problematic part was wearing his partner's underwear without her knowledge. She advised him to buy his own lingerie from numerous websites that cater to men's sizes.
The counsellor concluded that if his girlfriend cannot accept this part of him, "perhaps she's not the person for you." She assured him there are accepting partners out there.
Broader Context and Resources
The column is part of Metro's "Sex. Love. Modern Mess." podcast, hosted by X Factor icon Diana Vickers and LGBTQ+ advocate Jack Guinness, which tackles dating dilemmas every Tuesday.
Readers with their own dilemmas are encouraged to email Laura.Collins@metro.co.uk for expert advice. The article also referenced a previous week's dilemma about a reader who lied to her partner.
