For Conrad, 36, and Callum, 35, their relationship is strengthened by a unique shared activity: attending sex-positive queer parties every couple of months. Within these spaces, they find a special zone known as the dark room, a near pitch-black labyrinth where strangers connect, which has become a cornerstone for building trust and exploring desires together.
The Rules of Engagement in the Dark
The dark room, as Conrad describes it, is a maze of booths and benches where attraction operates by different rules. Rejection can be direct, with people gently pushing others away, a stark reminder of the vulnerability inherent in sexual encounters. Early in their explorations, Conrad felt shut out and left when Callum was invited into an interaction without him. This experience led to their one fundamental rule: maintaining a connection.
They now navigate the space using subtle signals, glances, and an unspoken pact not to disappear. They are free to wander, flirt, and touch, but the imperative is to feel they are exploring as a unit. For Conrad, acts that feel too intimate, like an extended make-out session with one other person, are off-limits, as would be Callum drifting away to explore fantasies they haven't shared.
Building a Stronger Bond Through Shared Exploration
Callum views the dark room as a judgment-free sanctuary where they can safely live out fantasies with others, all while secured by the presence of their partner. This shared experience, he says, demystifies casual intimacy and renders the concept of cheating pointless. "We always go home together, which is what matters," Callum notes, adding that the encounters often feel like using others as pawns in their own foreplay.
The aftermath of these nights is consistently passionate. The couple takes the sexual energy home, leading to freer, more explorative sex between them, sometimes filming it or being more vocal about their fantasies. This has become a vital part of their four-year relationship, two of which have been spent living together.
From Tinder Matches to a Deep Connection
Their journey began on Tinder, where they matched twice. After a false start, their first date was sealed by Conrad's rain jacket, which told Callum he was interested. Their third date featured Conrad's politely asked, "May I kiss you?"—a moment Callum found endearing.
Sexual chemistry was immediate, though they humorously note both having more experience 'topping', leading them to adapt so that most of their sex life is non-penetrative. A pivotal moment came weeks into dating when Conrad initiated an honest conversation about his need for clarity, a talk that didn't end in a breakup but instead forged deeper trust.
Despite their adventurous sex life, Callum's favourite moments are non-sexual: orbiting each other in their flat, Conrad spending time with his family, and appreciating his partner's straightforward nature, deep thinking, lisp, and gap-toothed smile. "I find it hard to imagine my future, but I find it easy to imagine him in it," Callum says.
Both men share a matching sex drive, albeit with different rhythms—Callum is a morning person, while Conrad prefers evenings. Their typical morning involves coffee, puzzle games in bed, and swiping on the app Feeld, which they jokingly deem the most boring part of the routine. Their central fear is not the exploration with others, but forgetting that sex is, above all, a way to connect with each other. As Conrad summarises, they never regret being intimate, only ever wonder: why don't we do it more often?
