Sadie, 38, met Jonathan when she was dating his wife, Leonie. Jonathan and Leonie are polyamorous, and during Sadie's relationship with Leonie, Leonie suggested that Sadie and Jonathan would be more sexually compatible. When Leonie ended the romantic relationship with Sadie, proposing they remain friends, Sadie did not want to lose either of them and continued meeting them platonically.
The Kiss That Changed Everything
A month later, while drinking in a hammock under the stars, Jonathan and Sadie kissed for the first time. Leonie teased them, saying she had seen it coming. They took the relationship slowly, waiting four months before having sex. When Jonathan developed feelings for Sadie, he worried about disrupting the trio's dynamic and suggested they stop seeing each other. Sadie refused, telling him, "This is too special to give up."
A Spreadsheet for Love and Play
The night they became boyfriend and girlfriend and exchanged "I love you," Sadie gave Jonathan a spreadsheet containing 100 activities they had both agreed to or expressed interest in, such as having sex in a carwash. The list included sploshing (food play), leading Jonathan to use Sadie as a charcuterie board. Jonathan, 44, explained that the spreadsheet, which they call Project 69, is not just about sex but about discovering new things about themselves and each other. For instance, he discovered he was into "confusing sexy," like Sadie dressing up as the Grinch.
Joint Custody of Jonathan
Sadie and Leonie say they have joint custody of Jonathan, but they also share a relationship independent of him. While Sadie is not sexual with Leonie, she is committed to her. They are each other's emergency contacts and the first people they would call in a crisis. They garden and cook together, and when all three are together, they feel like a little family. Sadie acknowledges it is not always easy; she has felt jealous and, early on, was unsure of her place or what she was allowed to ask for. Jonathan would sometimes double-book time with Sadie and Leonie. Despite the challenges, Sadie says it is better than any of her previous relationships.
Living Arrangements and Future Plans
The trio has discussed living together one day, but currently Sadie lives four blocks away, which suits her. She is free to date and have sex with other people but rarely does, as she is only in love with Jonathan. Sadie likes to call herself a "side-piece" because it sounds sexy and dangerous, but Jonathan always corrects her, saying, "You're not a side piece. You're a core member of this dynamic."
Jonathan's Perspective: From Fear to Acceptance
Falling in love with Sadie frightened Jonathan. When Leonie had fallen in love with someone else years before, he struggled. He was comfortable with casual sex but felt threatened by love. By the time Sadie arrived, he was no longer afraid of jealousy but feared being a bad boyfriend and damaging Sadie's relationship with Leonie. Leonie met Sadie on a dating app. Initially, Jonathan felt like background furniture, but after they kissed, the chemistry was undeniable. When they eventually had sex, they orgasmed at the same time.
Putting Toothpaste Back in the Tube
When Jonathan tried to pause the relationship due to his fears, Sadie compared it to trying to put toothpaste back in the tube. They had already developed feelings and become more than friends with benefits; it was too late to undo. Jonathan acknowledges that people assume he is leading the relationships, but he insists the women are in the driving seat. They are strong, funny, smart, and opinionated, and they hold him accountable. The three of them are a team. Jonathan feels lucky to have two wonderful women who love him, but the reason it works so well is that they also love each other.
