In a unique experiment for a new series, a travel journalist has ventured underground to test one of London's most curious hotel offerings: a completely windowless room. Kristina Beanland, Metro's lifestyle editor, checked into The Hoxton in Shepherd's Bush on December 7, 2025, to see if the hotel's budget-friendly 'Hideout' room was a clever hack or a claustrophobic nightmare.
Descending into the 'Crypt'
Leaving the vibrant buzz of The Hoxton's reception, the journey to the lower ground floor felt like entering another world. Beanland, accompanied by a friend, described the sensation as being in the 'bowels of the ship'. The corridor was eerily quiet, setting the stage for their subterranean stay. The 'Hideout' room itself measures a compact 156 square feet, fitting just a bed, side tables, and a modest clothes rail.
For this minimalist space, prices in January start from £170.10 for a midweek night. This is notably cheaper than the hotel's largest 'Roomy' category, which commands prices from £269.10. The design maintains The Hoxton's signature Art Deco aesthetic, with earthy tones and bespoke furniture. However, some luxury touches were absent; complimentary toiletries were basic, and the minibar contained only water and milk.
The Illusion of Light and Lingering Anxieties
The most telling feature of the room was its attempt to mimic daylight. A frosted plastic panel, covering what appeared to be an LED strip, acted as a fake skylight. For Beanland, this artificial feature only emphasised her separation from the outside world. The core of the experience, however, was psychological. Despite knowing about the hotel's robust fire safety measures, both guests found themselves lying awake in the early hours.
'What if there's a fire?' her friend whispered. Beanland's own mind raced with scenarios of being trapped. The inability to open a window or glance out onto a London street amplified a sense of isolation. 'We closed our eyes, and tried not to dream about being buried alive,' she wrote.
Culinary Highs in the Vibey Chet's Restaurant
The experience wasn't without its highlights, all found above ground. The hotel's Thai-American restaurant, Chet's, received glowing praise. Buzzing even on a Wednesday night, it served inventive dishes like a hot chicken sandwich with Thai glaze and the signature 'Pineapple Rice'—egg fried rice served dramatically inside a half pineapple. The dish proved so compelling that a fellow diner famously asked to try a bite from the journalist's own plate before ordering his own.
This, Beanland noted, encapsulates the fun, social atmosphere The Hoxton chain is renowned for, offering the chance to enjoy cocktails into the early hours without a late-night Tube journey.
The Final Verdict: A Compromise on Comfort?
So, is the Hideout room worth it? Beanland's conclusion is nuanced. She would 1000% stay at The Hoxton again, but would likely avoid a windowless room. She caveats that her own need for an obvious escape route—'yes, I'm in therapy'—may not be shared by everyone.
For travellers utterly unbothered by enclosed spaces, the Hideout offers a dark, quiet, and distraction-free sleep at a significant discount. It could even feel romantic for some couples. But for those who, like the author, are accustomed to the soundtrack of London's sirens and find comfort in a connection to the outside world, the saving may not justify the sacrifice. 'Next time,' Beanland concludes, 'I'm going to need a window.'
Key Details at a Glance:
- Hotel: The Hoxton, Shepherd's Bush, London.
- Room Reviewed: The Hideout (windowless, basement).
- Size: 156 sq ft.
- Price: From £170.10 (Jan, midweek).
- Check-in/out: 2pm / 12 noon.
- Standout Feature: Chet's Thai-American restaurant.
- Perfect for: Budget-conscious couples without claustrophobia.
- Not for: Those who need natural light or a clear view of their exit.
