Navigating a New Generation of Clients
As I approach my fiftieth birthday, having worked in the sex industry for nearly three decades, I have witnessed a profound transformation in my clientele. When I first began, the majority of my clients were older, married men seeking a discreet escape from their established lives. Today, while I still see those familiar faces, I am increasingly meeting much younger men, often in their late teens or early twenties, many with little to no sexual experience.
A Shift in Demographics
This change has been gradual but significant. It reflects broader societal shifts in how young people, particularly men, approach sex and intimacy. The landscape of modern dating, dominated by apps that promise endless choice but often deliver rejection, and pornography that provides instruction without context, has left many feeling isolated and overwhelmed. For some, the prospect of approaching a real woman, with all its potential for embarrassment or confusion, is daunting. Paradoxically, seeking a professional like me offers a simpler, clearer alternative where boundaries are explicit and pretence is absent.
Contrasting Client Dynamics
The differences between my older and younger clients are stark. Older men typically arrive with a precise, long-rehearsed idea of what they want. In contrast, younger clients are often nervous, apologetic, and surprisingly formal. They ask numerous questions, worry about making mistakes, and seem deeply concerned about not disappointing me. This earnestness is both touching and, at times, slightly absurd. Occasionally, I am their first sexual experience—a role I do not take lightly, knowing this moment may stay with them forever, while for me, it is part of a regular workday.
A Duty of Care and Clarity
This inherent imbalance brings a heightened sense of responsibility. I am not an educator in a formal sense, but I feel a strong duty of care. With younger or inexperienced clients, I consciously slow the pace, provide clearer explanations, and check in more frequently. I am firmer about boundaries, ensuring the experience feels safe, contained, and human. The goal is to alleviate the performance anxiety that often drives them to seek my services, stripping away the notion that sex is a test to be graded.
People sometimes assume that young men turn to sex workers out of desperation or entitlement. In my experience, the reality is more nuanced. Many are lonely, yes, but they are also genuinely curious. They seek to understand intimacy without the chaos of modern dating, desiring an experience where rejection is not a constant threat. There is an honesty in this transactional clarity, a relief from the mixed signals that permeate screen-mediated interactions.
Managing Expectations and Safety
The way younger men relate to me also differs. Older clients often view me primarily as a service provider, maintaining a polite detachment. Younger clients, however, can be prone to idealisation, becoming overly earnest or grateful, sometimes attributing life-changing significance to a straightforward, respectful encounter. I gently manage these expectations where necessary.
Above all, safety and legality are paramount. Every new client must provide government-issued photo ID for age verification before any appointment is confirmed. There are absolutely no exceptions or grey areas regarding underage individuals; this policy is non-negotiable and rigorously enforced.
Reflections on Modern Intimacy
I do not believe I am shaping these young men or setting them on a specific path. Rather, I am meeting them at a particular moment in their lives—a time often marked by cultural confusion, sexual noise, and surprising isolation. If I can offer an experience that is respectful, bounded, and free from humiliation, I am content.
This work has not become easier as my clients have grown younger; if anything, it demands more thoughtful consideration. Yet, it has deepened my awareness of how complex and challenging sex has become for a generation supposedly saturated with it. Ultimately, it reaffirms that kindness, clarity, and patience are invaluable, whether one is nineteen or sixty-nine.
