How One Hour With a Female GP Transformed My Perimenopause Journey
"I can't cope with this any more," I thought as panic, anxiety, and dread threatened to overwhelm me completely. It was a Friday in May 2025, and I was sitting in an important office meeting where I had just presented a significant piece of work that had consumed tremendous time and energy. The response was devastatingly simple: it didn't meet the brief.
While nobody enjoys receiving negative feedback at work, hearing those words made my heart drop. This wasn't an isolated incident. For months, I had been feeling completely overwhelmed, on the brink of tears most days, struggling to manage my workload, and unable to remember what had happened the previous day. I had no idea I was experiencing perimenopause; instead, I was quietly terrified about what was happening to my mind and body.
The Breaking Point That Led to Diagnosis
That meeting experience became the straw that broke the camel's back, resulting in me being signed off work for two months. Today, I understand how profoundly perimenopause and menopause symptoms can impact women's lives. These symptoms can knock us sideways, turn our lives upside down, and convince us we're losing control of our mental faculties.
New polling commissioned by the Royal College of Psychiatrists reveals a startling reality: nearly three-quarters of UK women don't know that menopause can actually trigger new mental illnesses. Perimenopausal women are more than twice as likely to develop bipolar disorder and 30% more likely to develop clinical depression. Yet most women primarily associate menopause with hot flushes rather than mental health difficulties.
This knowledge gap means many women aren't seeking or receiving the vital help they desperately need. I find this terrifying because I found perimenopause challenging enough with just anxiety and low mood. Now I'm utterly dedicated to spreading awareness about the many debilitating symptoms of menopause. In fact, I've recently become accredited as a menopause coach so I can help other women navigate what I experienced and direct them to specialist services when needed.
The Debilitating Symptoms That Crept In
My symptoms began in mid-2024 with the worst sleep deprivation I've ever experienced. While I was never a great sleeper, this was completely different. I had no trouble falling asleep, but suddenly I started waking up every night around 2am, wide awake and wired with no chance of drifting back to sleep. I would lie there until my alarm sounded, then drag myself to work on just three or four hours of sleep. This pattern repeated most nights for six months.
Then came the brain fog, an experience unlike anything I had known before. I had always felt capable, alert, and switched-on, but now no matter how many planners I carefully filled or how many post-it reminders I wrote, I often couldn't remember the simplest things. Colleagues would ask, "Do you have the notes from yesterday's meeting?" and I would have no idea what meeting they meant, even though I had attended it myself.
My anxiety would surge as I tried to sift through my sleep-deprived brain, desperately attempting to recall the notes in question. Where once I could offer instant, efficient replies, now I could only stare wordlessly while trying to comb through memories that weren't there. I didn't understand what was wrong with me. I knew about menopause but thought it affected people in their late 50s or 60s. At 46, perimenopause never crossed my mind. At my lowest point, I worried I had early-onset dementia.
How Symptoms Infiltrated Personal Life
These perimenopause symptoms crept into my personal life as well. Previously the life of the party, I reduced socializing to the bare minimum. The thought of being in busy, loud places—not to mention a drunken late-night tube, which I'd never minded before—made me anxious, and I craved quiet and calm. I replaced gigs and bars with walks and at-home dinners.
My mood plummeted dramatically. I carried a constant sense of anxiety in my chest and felt deep sadness. I wasn't much fun to be around at home, to say the least. I disconnected from my husband, showing little interest when he initiated conversation and maintaining a perpetual "glass half empty" mentality. Everything felt so unlike my normal self.
The Transformative Medical Consultation
That fateful Friday in May when my work was critiqued, I sat through the rest of the meeting doing my best to remain professional while knowing I would later shut down my laptop and walk away. I needed immediate time away from work. That night, I traveled to Spain for a long weekend with my husband and family. I sobbed all evening, and my husband convinced me to see a GP. "This isn't normal," he insisted, and I knew he was right.
I saw a GP the following Monday, explaining I'd been feeling very stressed, and he signed me off work for a fortnight. But after a couple of weeks—once I had calmed slightly from the worry of leaving work unfinished—I started connecting the dots. Away from the overwhelming urgency of the office, it gradually dawned on me that I might be experiencing the first signs of menopause.
So I visited another doctor—a woman this time—and she confirmed I was absolutely right. It sounds dramatic, but that one hour with this second GP completely transformed my life. She made me feel heard and understood, and I was flooded with relief when she explained there were steps I could take—primarily HRT—that would help me regain control of my symptoms. In other words, I could get my life back.
Research Highlights Workplace Impact
Research from not-for-profit healthcare provider Benenden Health reveals the growing impact of menopause on women's working lives. Nearly a third (28%) of women say they're considering leaving their jobs because of menopausal symptoms, with 7% already having quit. Almost half (47%) have changed how they work as a result of symptoms, including reducing hours (18%) or responsibilities (12%).
Productivity is also suffering significantly, with 31% reporting a decline and losing an average of 5.5 working days annually to menopause-related illness. Despite these challenges, 40% of women say they are unaware of any menopause support at work. While 92% of employers believe their organization meets staff needs, these findings highlight a substantial gap between perception and reality.
Benenden Health suggests this gap can be addressed through practical steps including clear menopause policies, trained managers, workplace adjustments, and access to specialist healthcare support.
Recovery and New Purpose
I extended my time away from work and started taking HRT—and I gradually became myself again. My sleep improved, I could concentrate better, and I no longer felt constantly on the verge of tears. When I eventually returned to work after two months, my colleagues were fantastic. My scope of work was adapted to become more manageable, and I felt like I could function properly again.
While HRT has helped me tremendously, it's not a miracle cure. I still have difficult days. My sleep isn't completely back to normal, and I've experienced issues with my joints—a classic perimenopause symptom. I put my back out a couple of months ago, and the pain was so severe it effectively ruined my Christmas.
But compared to where I was this time last year, I'm like a completely different person. Now that I'm accredited as a menopause coach, I can help other women recognize the signs and symptoms while crucially assisting them in coping. I can advise them to seek expert mental health support if I suspect they need it—for bipolar disorder or depression, for example.
I don't want any other perimenopausal women to be perpetually on the brink of tears at work, worrying that the only explanation for what's happening to them is early-onset dementia. There is help available if we only know to ask for it.
