In a world that often glorifies achievement and self-improvement, the concept of an ordinary life can seem like a sign of failure. Yet, what if embracing the mundane—answering emails, washing dishes, or going to the shop—holds the key to a more mindful and enchanting existence? This perspective challenges the relentless pursuit of ascent, inviting a deeper appreciation for the conditions of our daily lives.
The Desire for Ascent and Its Discontents
Many individuals turn to spiritual practices with the hope of rising above the perceived banality of everyday routines. As noted in Barry Magid's book, Ending the Pursuit of Happiness, there is a common, albeit often unspoken, fantasy that spirituality will lead to heightened experiences, a compelling identity, or a sense of superiority. This desire for something more than the ordinary is deeply ingrained, fueled by societal values that prioritize growth mindsets and optimization.
Resistance to Ordinariness
When the idea of embracing an ordinary life is presented, it often meets with resistance. Questions arise: Does accepting ordinariness mean acquiescing to the status quo? Is it a form of being duped by late capitalism? Or does it imply a meaningless existence? These value judgments reflect a cultural bias where the ordinary is viewed as a moral failure—a lazy, flattened life unlived.
Redefining the Ordinary
Looking at the Oxford definition, "ordinary" means common and indistinguishable by rank or position, a concept that resonates with Buddhist teachings. To be ordinary in this sense is not about abandoning ethical responsibility but challenging the unwavering commitment to exceptionalism that capitalism leverages. It involves resisting the market's offers to outsource activities deemed unremarkable, such as managing emails or shopping.
The Spiritual Journey Through Fantasy
In spiritual circles, the initial desire to transcend the ordinary is often the entry point. People attend retreats, chant, and meditate, fantasizing about insight, peace, and transcendence. This stage, while necessary, can lead to conceit—performing humility or kindness that sometimes solidifies a sense of superiority. However, as teachings from Zen masters like Eihei Dōgen suggest, this is a phase to pass through before facing disillusionment with self-advancement.
Returning to the Everyday with Mindfulness
Eventually, the journey leads back to the beginning, reinhabiting the ordinary with greater mindfulness and appreciation. As Shunryu Suzuki Roshi noted, you are perfect but could do with some improvement. This perspective encourages seeing through fantasies and relaxing disdain for the everyday, revealing it as sufficient and even luminous.
The Aesthetic Integrity of the Ordinary
Cultural theorist Ben Highmore argues that the ordinary is not banal but messy, dense, and artful. Behind habitual activities lies a cacophony of textured, sensual experiences—the lifeblood of human culture. Studying the everyday makes it stranger and more interesting, collapsing the distinction between meaningful and mundane.
Practical Applications in Daily Life
Spirituality, as a living practice, helps make sense of an incomprehensible world by fostering mindful receptivity to life's rhythms. The Zen story of teacher Sono repeating, "Thank you very much, I have no complaints whatsoever," illustrates this shift. It emphasizes that there is nothing lacking within the ordinary, and experience can take on an even, steady flavor.
Embracing the Cycle of Life
We begin to let go of the desire for ascent and turn toward the conditions of our lives—answering emails, washing dishes, going to the shop—with no complaints. These details become openings to relinquish self-focused drives and surrender to what is, bringing enchantment to the rhythm of life. As psychologist Jack Kornfield put it, "After the ecstasy, the laundry."
Reflecting on personal experiences, such as growing up in an ordinary household eating chips or watching TV, can highlight the beauty and poignancy of everyday moments. Aging offers a chance to recognize this without needing it to be more than it already is—irreducibly and spectacularly ordinary.
