The Hidden Crisis: Economic Abuse and Suicide Risk
New data from the charity Surviving Economic Abuse reveals a disturbing statistic: at least one victim of economic abuse dies every 19 days. For survivors like Sarah Matthews, this comes as no surprise. She spent nine months in suicide counseling after enduring years of financial control and joint mortgage abuse.
A Personal Journey Through Financial Coercion
Sarah's story began with what seemed like positive news. "Great news! We have a joint mortgage," her partner texted in December 2017. Instead of celebration, she felt sick to her stomach. This marked the beginning of years of economic abuse and a lengthy legal battle for freedom.
The relationship had already shown warning signs. After purchasing her own London flat in 2014 with a £20,000 deposit, Sarah had established independence. When her partner Tom moved in following a family tragedy, she supported him emotionally and financially, taking loans to make the flat habitable.
The Turning PointEverything changed after their engagement. "Almost immediately after the ring was on my finger, he became fixated on money," Sarah recalls. He demanded half the cost of the engagement ring and persistently pressured her to add his name to the mortgage.
Despite her reservations, Sarah eventually relented after her confidence was systematically eroded. "He insisted I was bad with maths, which gradually chipped away at my confidence until eventually I gave in."
The Banking System's Failure
The mortgage meeting where his name was added remains traumatic. "At no point did anyone from the bank ask me privately if I was comfortable with this change," Sarah explains. "If they had, I would have said no, that I felt like he was taking over."
That confirmation text felt like "a dagger to my heart." She realized she needed to escape quickly, with wedding plans looming. When she repeatedly asked to cancel the wedding, he ignored her while maintaining full control of their joint account and bills.
The Legal BattleAdding him to the mortgage took weeks; removing him took five years. Sarah initially offered £15,000 for him to walk away without court proceedings, but he refused. She was forced to gather evidence of abuse, including numerous transactions from her account to his.
As they approached court, he accepted her original offer, but by then Sarah faced financial ruin. She had lost her job due to PTSD from the abusive relationship and could no longer access the money.
The Suicide Crisis Point
"I was at my absolute lowest and even contemplated taking my own life due to the crushing emotional and financial strain," Sarah reveals. Her father ultimately took £15,000 from his pension to resolve the situation.
When she told her bank case handler, "The only way out here is suicide," the response was simply an offer to contact Samaritans. "It felt deeply patronizing," she says. She began making plans to end her life, only deciding to stay alive so her abuser wouldn't win.
Continued ControlEven after financial settlement, the bank wouldn't remove him from the mortgage until Sarah could prove she earned enough to cover it alone. His hold continued until April 2023, when she finally secured a new mortgage with the deeds solely in her name.
A Growing Problem Requiring Systemic Change
According to Surviving Economic Abuse, joint mortgage abuse affects 1 in 8 women. Sarah believes much suffering could be prevented if banks asked appropriate questions and recognized financial abuse signs earlier.
"Tom weaponized my mortgage agreement as part of a campaign of coercive control over me," she states. Since breaking free, she has rebuilt her life as a personal trainer and contributed to making economic abuse a recognized crime through the domestic abuse bill.
"We've got a long way to go," Sarah concludes, "but if sharing my story helps highlight the problem, helps someone recognize the early subtle signs of economic abuse before it becomes joint mortgage abuse and ultimately stops it happening to others, then I'd say that's time well spent."
