Tom Williams only knew Callan Rogers for less than a year, but the impact he had was profound. The pair met through The Robin Cancer Trust after both being diagnosed with testicular cancer as young men.
'He was also in that war, so you both understand what you went through without saying it,' Tom, 28, tells Metro. 'We just clicked as soon as I saw him and we had an instant connection. He was really inspiring for me.'
Being able to relate to Callan was vital for Tom, who struggled with his mental health following his diagnosis at 22. While he went into remission, Callan's cancer progressed to stage four — and he sadly passed away in October 2024, aged just 28.
Diagnosis and treatment
Tom, from Clacton-on-Sea, spotted a lump on his left testicle in 2019 and went to the GP the very next day. As his father had lost a friend to the condition, he didn't waste any time getting checked out. But that didn't make hearing the news any easier.
'One minute, my life was going great, and the next minute, I was completely turned upside down,' Tom recalls. Following a biopsy which confirmed he had stage two testicular cancer, he had his left testicle removed in January 2020, before undergoing nine weeks of chemotherapy.
In May 2020, in the middle of the pandemic, Tom got the all-clear and went back to working in sales at a lettings company the following June as lockdowns eased. 'It was way too soon, looking back now, because I was just trying to get back to some sort of normality,' he says. 'I was doing the Brighton Marathon that September, so I thought, "okay, that gives me focus, I can work on that."'
Mental health struggles
Once he'd completed the race — in support of Cancer Research UK — and no longer had a set goal to look towards, Tom was forced to deal with a 'build-up of emotions that [he] probably didn't deal with at the time.' Looking back on what he calls a 'mental breakdown', he says: 'It was just a regular Saturday night, and I had this weird thing come over me. I began pushing the table away, sobbing with my hands in my face. I've never cried like that.'
Thankfully, Tom got in touch with MacMillan, who offered him 15 counselling sessions which he found 'really beneficial'. Around this time, he was also introduced to Darren Couchman, a family friend and fellow survivor who works as Community Engagement Manager at The Robin Cancer Trust, the UK's only testicular, ovarian and germ-cell cancer charity.
Finding someone who understood
While filming a video for the charity in early 2024, Tom met Callan, also from Essex, bonding over their shared love of keeping fit. 'He was big into his fitness because of his fire testing job; he wanted to be fit for it and eat clean,' Tom explains. 'He would finish his job really early after a couple of hours and go to the gym and spend all day in the gym, or all afternoon in the gym, so he couldn't understand why he got cancer because he was really fit. He was so positive, he just thought he was invincible.'
Although planning meet-ups was 'difficult because of [Callan's] treatment,' the pair messaged each other 'often'. They did manage to get together for an MMA event — a hobby Tom credits Callan for, after he joked that it'd help him channel his aggression on the rugby pitch. Tom also took part in a charity run which raised thousands for charity and Callan's treatment too, and now joins his loved ones each year to honour his memory with a sponsored 10k around London named #runforCal.
'We also did a run with all his friends and family, and he raised thousands of pounds for charity and for his treatment,' Tom adds. At times he finds himself looking at their WhatsApp conversations too, adding: 'It's quite mad that he had that sort of impact on me in such a short time. When we met, he was advanced. We both knew he didn't have a lot of time. But he also wanted to meet someone like me who'd gone through it and could inspire him.'
Grief and survivor's guilt
After Callan passed, Tom recalls feeling 'so helpless' and 'triggered.' 'I didn't really want to go to the funeral,' he explains. 'I wanted to just deny it, I didn't want to accept that it was real. But, deep down, I knew that I had to go and show my respects.' While he forced himself to attend, Tom found it 'really tough'. He says: 'I was sitting there, trying to be strong, and I just remember feeling like I wanted to cry. If it's a family member that passes away, you can confide in your brothers, or your uncles, your aunties, or somebody. Whereas I was feeling all this grief, and I didn't know who to talk to. I didn't really have the relationship with his family at the time, and didn't want to go too deep and put my problems onto them.'
Over time, Tom did become closer to Callan's loved ones through fundraising in his memory, and reached out to his girlfriend to offer his support as she was 'really going through it'. 'I found that quite comforting,' he says. 'Even just little things, like messaging her the Robin Cancer Trust number, made me feel good, because I'm helping in a way.' While survivor's guilt was something Tom struggled with, this 'seems to be passing over time.' 'You question why you got to live and others haven't,' he explains. 'But at the same time, this makes me feel very lucky and gives me the drive to go on and live my life the best I can.'
Looking to the future
Coming through these dark times pushed him to travel to finally take the plunge and enter the Sydney Marathon — something he'd always dreamed of doing. 'I kept putting it off,' he says. 'But Cal said to me before he passed away, "just go and do it," so I stopped putting it off. I channelled the grief into the fundraising I was doing for him.' Tom has now been in a relationship for several months, and says things are 'really good'. 'Coming towards the end of my 20s, I definitely want to have a big family,' he adds. 'I'd like to get married, have some kids and just be a family man. That's the goal.'
While nothing can change what happened, Tom hopes that by talking about Callan, others may recognise the symptoms of testicular cancer earlier and reach out for mental health support when they need it. The Robin Cancer Trust are holding the annual #runforCal & Walk London which is a 10K run or walk through London taking in some of the landmarks on July 2.
About testicular cancer
Testicular cancer is cancer that's found in the testicles. It's most common in men aged 15 to 49 and can affect anyone with testicles. Symptoms to be aware of include a lump or swelling in your testicle, your testicle getting bigger, an ache or pain in your testicle or scrotum, your scrotum feeling heavy, firm or hard, a sore or swollen chest, an ache or pain in your back or lower tummy, losing weight without trying, a cough, difficulty breathing or swallowing. For help and support, visit The Robin Cancer Trust.
