Kelly Jeffery, 41, a business operations manager from Hampshire, experienced a severe nervous breakdown in October 2022 that left her bedridden and unable to brush her teeth or care for her son. After accessing up to 100 hours of private therapy, she has transformed her mental health and now recognizes her core beliefs as 'completely different'.
Breakdown triggered by relationship end and work rejection
The breakdown followed the end of a relationship and a missed promotion opportunity at work. Kelly said she had struggled with anxiety her whole life but had never before reached a point where she could not function. 'It was a full mechanical breakdown of a human being and it shocked the life out of me,' she told PA Real Life.
After her relationship ended amicably in 2022, Kelly took time off to sort logistics. As a newly-single mother, she felt pressure to excel at work to provide for her son. In October 2022, she faced an interview panel for a promotion but was rejected. 'It took the wind out of my sails completely… it just destroyed me. In my mind, I heard, 'You failed and you're not good enough',' she said.
Bedridden for months, unable to care for herself
Kelly was signed off work for three-and-a-half months. She could barely get out of bed, wash, or brush her teeth. She tried to shield her son, getting him to school then returning to bed until just before he came home. 'I'd get him off to school in the morning and then go straight back to bed. I'd stay there for most of the day, then get up just before he came home and try to make everything look normal,' she said.
Initial therapy through an employee assistance programme provided six sessions, which Kelly said only 'scratched the very tip of the iceberg'. She then switched to private medical insurance and began working with therapist Paul Regan, whom she credits with changing her life.
100 hours of therapy and transformed beliefs
Kelly said her therapist estimates she has had up to 100 hours of online-based therapy since November 2022. 'I went into therapy thinking I was unlovable, unworthy, not good enough and ugly. I came out of that now with core beliefs that are completely different,' she said.
Even after the breakdown, Kelly experienced wobbles, including a period in mid-2023 when she felt anxious about a relationship. She called her therapist from a service station, saying, 'Please help me, I don't know what to do.' She said therapy has been 'genuinely the best thing' she has ever done.
Anxiety overlooked as serious condition
Kelly believes anxiety is overlooked as a mental health condition that can cause serious illness and is 'probably more prominent than we think'. According to mental health and addiction treatment provider Priory, 46% of women say cost-of-living or financial pressures have impacted their mental health in the last 12 months, while 21% of working-age women cite job insecurity or work pressure.
Priory has launched a campaign, Support to Find your Way, offering free self-care resources and professional support via its website. Kelly's message to others: 'Therapy will be the best thing you ever do. If you really commit, it can make all the difference.'
For support, call Samaritans for free on 116 123 or visit samaritans.org.
