Meg, 35, spent years visualizing sex with a woman while being married to a man and having two children. During sex with her husband, she felt disconnected and could only orgasm by replaying lesbian porn in her mind. 'Sex felt like something to get through,' she said. When she met Jess on Tinder, whose profile said 'Smilier in real life, only in the area for three weeks,' everything changed.
A First Kiss That Buckled Knees
Meg had never kissed a woman before. 'When we kissed, my knees buckled and she called me Bambi – a nickname that has stuck,' Meg recalled. She rushed home, masturbated while thinking about Jess, and immediately told her about it. The first six months of their relationship involved Meg learning to be present in her body rather than relying on mental imagery. Jess helped by noticing when Meg's mind drifted and saying, 'Stick with it,' leading to immediate orgasm.
Navigating New Dynamics
Jess identifies as a butch top who derives pleasure from Meg's pleasure. 'She prides herself on taking care of me and the kids,' Meg said, though accepting care is difficult for her as someone used to being in charge. 'Handing over control to her is freeing.' Meg loves their visible butch-femme dynamic and how Jess talks to her children 'like they’re proper humans whose questions deserve serious answers.'
After moving in together, Meg cried during sex due to pressure. 'Will we still lose entire mornings in bed to mind-blowing sex when we have real-life stuff to manage?' she wondered. Jess helps her relax and walk away without guilt. One of Meg's children rolled her eyes, saying, 'Ugh! All you guys do is talk and kiss.'
Jess's Perspective: Liberating Desire
Jess felt from early on that Meg was the woman she'd be with forever, but knew Meg had never dated a woman before. 'I hope I don’t give her a bad first experience,' Jess thought. After their first kiss, the tables turned and Jess felt on safe ground. 'It wasn’t just about sleeping with a woman – Meg had changed her whole life and there was no going back,' Jess said. Watching Meg experience desire for the first time was 'truly incredible' and a privilege.
For Jess, being a butch top isn't about control but care. 'I see it as my job to take care of Meg in every way: practically, emotionally and sexually. I take the bins out, give her reassurance and make her come,' she said. 'My pleasure comes from giving Meg pleasure.' Despite the stress of moving, their relationship remains steady. Meg's open desire makes Jess feel liberated: 'She tells me how much she fancies me, and makes me feel so entirely loved. I never feel like too much.'
Jess concludes, 'It’s the best relationship I’ve ever had – and I hope it’s the last.'
