Sarah Edmondson appears to be a typical working mother, shuttling her sons Troy, 11, and Ace, seven, to baseball games and co-hosting a podcast with her husband. Yet, a faint white scar on her left hip, hidden beneath her bikini line, serves as a permanent reminder of her past. This mark was inflicted during an ‘initiation’ into a secret women’s circle within the notorious NXIVM cult, where she was blindfolded, forced to undress, and branded with the group’s logo.
Sarah had been ensnared in the organization for 12 years, during which it consumed her career, relationships, and thought patterns. Her journey into the cult began at age 28, when she met a NXIVM member at a film festival. The group, founded by Keith Raniere and Nancy Salzman, promised to help members achieve goals while living ethically and promoting world peace through workshops on success and self-improvement. Sarah was instantly drawn to the idea. ‘I was craving something more meaningful. Beer commercials and vampire TV shows weren’t fulfilling me,’ she recalls. ‘They made me feel like I was part of a special club that would change the world.’
The Allure of Self-Improvement
Unaware of the cult’s dark side, Sarah enrolled in a five-day training session held in a dingy conference room at a Holiday Inn in Vancouver. The initial sessions seemed mundane—videos, a special handshake, and tips for career success. ‘It was boring and tacky,’ she remembers. ‘I was skeptical of their credentials, and the colored sashes denoting ranks felt cheesy.’ She also found it odd how members worshipped Keith, calling him ‘Vanguard’ and praising his genius.
However, by the fifth day, Sarah had become a ‘zealot,’ won over by the self-improvement aspects. She and her then-boyfriend paid $2,160, more than a month’s rent, and she immersed herself in the teachings. She fired her agent, got new representation, and felt more positive and motivated. For the first time in years, she stopped using sleeping pills. Encouraged, she enrolled in further training and saw more acting jobs come her way.
Recruitment and Pyramid Scheme
Recognizing her sales skills, cult organizers asked Sarah to recruit new members. For every three people she brought in, she received a cut of the fee—sometimes up to $20,000 a month. Yet, much of her earnings went back into expensive courses, unaware it was a pyramid scheme. ‘I genuinely believed I was helping people,’ Sarah says. ‘I had always shared positive experiences, and this felt like a natural next step.’
Sarah excelled within NXIVM, which had headquarters in Albany, New York. She established a thriving center in Vancouver, attracting 80 students a night by 2009. Internationally, the cult boasted celebrities like Allison Mack and Nicki Clyne, and even hosted the Dalai Lama. But behind the scenes, disturbing practices emerged. Women in inner circles were subjected to strict diets, criticized for eating, and pressured to stay under 100 pounds. They practiced daily denial—forgoing sugar, caffeine, and taking cold showers as penance. Sarah later realized this was grooming for Keith, who preferred skinny women.
Escalating Control
Elite members were required to be constantly available by phone for ‘readiness drills.’ ‘These started small but escalated to extreme control. At first, it was exciting to be part of a global communication network. Eventually, it was exhausting,’ Sarah recalls. Despite early warnings—her stepmother called NXIVM a cult—Sarah dismissed them, trained to deflect such questions. ‘I thought she didn’t understand. Now I know cults use deception to hook people in. Abuse comes later, like in domestic violence.’
In 2013, Sarah married senior NXIVM member Anthony ‘Nippy’ Ames, unaware of the organization’s darker side. ‘We were a power couple, the face of the organization,’ she says. In 2017, she was invited into an exclusive women’s group, taking a vow of secrecy. Excited to join a sisterhood of respected women, she underwent a harrowing initiation at Lauren Salzman’s home. Blindfolded and stripped naked, she and four others were branded with the NXIVM logo, instructed to say, ‘Master, it would be an honor if you would brand me.’ Sarah felt she had no choice, as Lauren had collected compromising photos and videos of her.
After the branding, Sarah initially felt exhilarated, but as adrenaline faded, she grew uneasy. Bound by a vow of silence, she couldn’t confide in her husband. Weeks later, she discovered the brand bore Keith Raniere’s initials, not the four elements as told. The final straw came when she learned Keith was not celibate but had sex with multiple women, including plans to sleep with her. ‘That was my line in the sand,’ she says.
Escape and Justice
Sarah told Nippy everything, and the couple left the cult, becoming whistleblowers. They worked with the FBI and shared their story, using the brand as evidence. ‘Nippy was enraged. I was terrified of being sued,’ she recalls. After a six-week trial in 2019, Keith Raniere was convicted of racketeering, sex trafficking, forced labor conspiracy, and wire fraud conspiracy, sentenced to 120 years in prison. The court heard how he groomed members, coerced them into sex, and forced abortions. The name NXIVM, members were told meant ‘place of learning,’ actually referenced a debt bondage system from Julius Caesar’s time. Nancy and Lauren Salzman pleaded guilty to racketeering; Nancy received three years in prison, Lauren probation.
Rebuilding Life
Since leaving, Sarah and Nippy have rebuilt their lives with their two children. It took years for Sarah to remove her brand. ‘I needed proof. People couldn’t understand until they saw it,’ she says. Now living a ‘normal all-American lifestyle,’ they want to raise awareness about coercive control. Together, they wrote A Little Bit Culty: Navigating Cults, Control and Coercion and host a podcast by the same name. ‘I never would have joined had I known about Keith and his harem of spiritual wives. He was a sex-addicted con artist. The whole thing was a fraud,’ Sarah concludes.
