During the debut of Channel 4 reality show Virgin Island last year, criticism flooded in. Comments like 'Isn't this just prostitution?' and 'Why not just pay a hooker?' were common. The show features sex surrogates helping virgin contestants navigate issues of desire, arousal, and shame. For many viewers, it also provides free sex education, as such transparent conversations are rare. However, the show and its therapists have faced accusations of exploitation, with critics claiming they are merely sex workers corralling virgins into sex without strings attached.
One user on X claimed the 'whole thing is extremely noncey,' conflating surrogates with sex offenders, and stated that 'virgins are being groomed by old women calling themselves experts.' Yet, the finale last night silenced many critics. Three contestants lost their virginity, but in a twist, two of them—Katie, a 22-year-old nanny from Peterborough, and Callum, a 21-year-old from Preston—had sex with each other, not with their surrogates. Sparks flew early in the series, and with their individual surrogates' guidance, they learned and then applied that knowledge together.
Surrogates as Professionals, Not Sex Workers
This outcome demonstrates that surrogates are far more than sex workers; they encourage contestants to have the best possible experience. Many past contestants speak highly of their experience, such as dog groomer Holly, who revealed in February that she is expecting a baby. Despite this, sex surrogates face shame and hate online. One X user called them 'perverts,' claiming their job 'is simply not an occupation.' This reflects a larger misunderstanding of sex work, which involves working with different bodies, needs, and wants to help individuals feel good.
Having worked as an online sex worker myself, I know that it's not just about taking off clothes. I speak to each person to learn their specific needs, without judgment—whether they want to wear a diaper or rate dick pics. Most of the time, they want to talk. The intimacy they require is not just to get off but to feel connected. That's what sex surrogates did on Virgin Island.
Criticism and Misunderstanding
No matter how hard surrogates try to help, they face criticism. As a sex worker, I receive messages accusing me of scamming men by 'showing my tits and taking their money.' One person said I was 'using men' for money, similar to accusations against Virgin Island experts. Sex work involves getting to know clients, just as surrogates do. Because of the environment they fostered, Katie and Callum found a connection they wouldn't have felt safe to pursue otherwise. In the finale, we heard them mic'd up as Katie said, 'Are you ready? Take your top off,' and Callum replied, 'You take it off.' We didn't need to see details, but it was a success—cute and not exploitative.
These therapists worked with contestants over weeks, and not everyone had sex. If the show were just about pairing virgins with sex workers, everyone would have lost their virginity, and the show would last 15 minutes. In the first series, a virgin tried to rush straight to sex, but the surrogate stopped him immediately. They are professionals.
More Than a Sex Show
This isn't a sex show; it's a show about intimacy. Surrogates have been spectacularly misunderstood. Whether sex workers or not, they are there to help people move forward. The journey was beautiful for contestants to grow, learn about their bodies, and progress in adulthood. If you take issue with that, you might be the problem.
