Stella Rogers, a 22-year-old freelance writer from Stockport, now living in Manchester, has shared her personal journey from rejecting visibly queer people to fully embracing her own lesbian identity. In a first-person essay published by Metro, Rogers details how she spent years trying to distance herself from what she called the 'weird gays' before realizing her judgment was rooted in internalized shame and jealousy.
A Childhood Marked by Being 'Different'
Rogers describes a happy childhood in Stockport, despite being a 'weird' kid. At 13, she was outed as a lesbian after confessing to a girl online, and the news spread through her school the next day. Although her family was supportive, she faced casual homophobia from peers, including invasive questions and a slur from a classmate. She recalls wanting to be 'normal' and adopting a 'normal gay' persona—wearing dresses from stores like Oh Polly and Pretty Little Thing, and excusing homophobic remarks.
A Turning Point at University
At Bristol University, Rogers avoided the LGBTQ+ society, but later discovered Leslie Feinberg's Stone Butch Blues, a semi-autobiographical novel about lesbian life in the USA from the 1950s to the 1980s. The book taught her that division within the LGBT+ community only worsens oppression, and she realized her judgment of others was actually envy of their openness.
Embracing Her Identity in Manchester
Now back in Manchester, Rogers attends explicitly lesbian events and describes the community as 'some of the kindest people I have ever met.' She says she no longer desires to seem 'sound' to men and will 'rant about lesbian politics and history to anyone who will listen.' She reflects that the biggest change was internal, and she wishes she could go back to that bar in 2022 to meet the vibrant people she once judged.
Rogers' story is part of Metro's 'Queer Hope & Joy' series, running alongside LGBT Foundation's 'Hope Starts Here' campaign, which aims to platform the vibrancy, diversity, and resilience of the LGBTQ+ community.
