Shirtless and Sandals: When Is It Acceptable?
Summer brings a loosening of social norms, but etiquette experts have clear guidelines. Zak Maoui, style director of Esquire, says men can go shirtless only by the beach or pool, though he personally runs topless in London when it's hot. Jo Bryant of The English Manner advises that being wrapped in a towel is only acceptable near water—not in shops. For work, Myka Meier, author of Modern Etiquette Made Easy, says shorts are unsuitable unless company culture is extremely casual. Sara Jane Ho, host of Netflix's Mind Your Manners, notes bare shoulders may be too sexy for finance or law. Sandals are acceptable if smart and with groomed feet, says Laura Akano of Polished Manners. Men should remove hats indoors according to former butler Grant Harrold, but Maoui disagrees, calling the rule outdated. Sunglasses should be removed when greeting someone you don't know well, says Ho, and never worn indoors.
Garden Nudity and Peeing in the Sea
Garden or balcony nudity is not acceptable if visible to neighbours, says Bryant. Peeing in the sea is a no-go for Harrold, who cites politeness and environmental concerns. Deodorant is compulsory, says Mariah Humbert, as a form of respect. If someone smells, Elaine Swann advises telling them privately, ideally at the end of the day. Refuse a sweaty hug or handshake by keeping it light—suggest a high five instead. Borrowing sunscreen from a stranger is fine if you've built rapport, says Bryant, but Humbert once shared with a stranger who asked. Reminding someone to put on sunscreen depends on your relationship; for strangers, it's best to mind your own business. Asking someone to rub sunscreen on your back is intimate and should only be done with someone close, says Meier.
Heat Complaints and Noise Rules
Complaining about the heat is boring, says Harrold, who suggests directing frustration at politicians about climate change. Using a fan in public is fine if it doesn't disturb others, says Akano, but turn it off in a theatre during a performance. Music or loud chat in the garden should stop by 9pm if neighbours are near, says Bryant. Lawn mowing before 9am at weekends is too early. Bringing a speaker to the park or beach is inconsiderate if loud, says Bryant; ask yourself if it disturbs others. Fair-weather sports enthusiasts should learn the rules before starting, says Meier, while year-rounders should be graceful towards newcomers, according to Harrold.
Dog Walking and Drinking Early
Harrold would not confront a stranger walking a dog in the heat, but if a dog is in a car with heatstroke signs, call 999. The RSPCA advises reporting collapsed dogs. On holiday, drinking early is acceptable if not obnoxious, says Jane Peyton of the School of Booze. At home, pace yourself to last the day. For potluck gatherings, bring dishes matching adult headcount, says Ho. To avoid a guest's revolting dish, ask them to bring wine instead. Bringing opened hummus to a picnic is only okay for a last-minute gathering with friends, says Meier; otherwise, bring homemade or unopened items. Asking for ice in a non-ice drink is fine, but not in a perfectly mixed cocktail, warns Peyton. Avoid smelly foods on public transport, says Akano.
Group Holiday Splits and Plane Etiquette
On group holidays, chores should be shared, with those who cook not having to clear, says Bryant. Costs should be discussed upfront; a kitty or app helps. The best bedroom should come at a higher price. Telling someone else's children off rarely ends well, says Bryant; divert them or find the parents. Parents should align on rules like bedtime. Staying with a friend should be max three days, says Meier, with a host gift. Sex in the guest room is okay but leave no signs, advises Harrold. On a plane, recline slowly, says Swann. The middle seat gets both armrests, says Humbert. Overhead locker space should be about a carry-on case; ask before moving others' bags. Don't take shoes off if feet smell, and avoid bare feet on the disgusting carpet, says Ho. Acknowledge seatmates with a nod, but no need for conversation, she adds. On trains, the table space in front of you is yours, says Akano. Learn key phrases when abroad, says Meier. Taking food from a hotel buffet for later is not classy, says Ho, unless discreetly taking a croissant. At an all-inclusive buffet, take multiple trips but don't overpile, says Humbert. To skip an excursion, own your decision and don't ask for money back, says Swann. Removing belongings from a sunlounger is divisive; Harrold would do it discreetly, while Meier says ask hotel staff. For holiday photos, send highlights two or three times, not constant updates, says Humbert.
