Adrian Chiles: The Unrelenting Greyness of British Winter
Adrian Chiles on Britain's Miserable Grey Winter

Adrian Chiles: The Unrelenting Greyness of British Winter

Guardian columnist Adrian Chiles has penned a heartfelt lament about the dreary winter months in Britain, capturing the collective frustration many feel during this season of perpetual greyness. From the start of November through to the end of February, Chiles describes a landscape dominated by damp, cold, and an overwhelming monotony of colour.

The Monochrome Misery of Winter

Chiles articulates a profound dislike for this time of year, where the days are either wet or uncomfortably damp. The weather oscillates between chilling cold and sudden warmth that leaves one sweltering in rainwear. However, the most oppressive aspect, according to Chiles, is the relentless greyness that envelops everything.

The clouds, the buildings, the trees, the cars, and even the people all seem to blend into a single, sombre hue. Public transport, like the iconic red buses, attempts to inject some colour into the scene, but their efforts are thwarted by a layer of dirt and the condensation that fogs their windows, obscuring the already bleak view outside.

A World Devoid of Contrast

Chiles draws a striking comparison to living in a black and white film, but with a crucial difference. In classic cinema, there are distinct blacks and whites to provide contrast and depth. In the British winter, he argues, we are left with nothing but varying shades of grey.

Even snowfall offers little respite. The pristine white quickly fades to a dull, slushy grey within minutes, adding to the overall sense of dreariness. Occasional splashes of colour in the murk do little to lift the spirits; instead, their starkness often accentuates the monochrome surroundings, deepening the gloom.

The Psychological Impact of Colour

Chiles notes that particularly vivid colours, like a bright red, can feel almost morbid in this context. They summon unsettling imagery, such as the small figure in the red coat from the haunting film Don't Look Now, adding a layer of quiet horror to the visual experience.

He remains unmoved by fleeting moments of sunshine, viewing them as cruel teases rather than genuine breaks in the weather. These brief appearances only serve to remind us of the grey days that will inevitably follow.

The Futility of Longer Days

Even the gradual lengthening of daylight hours brings no comfort to Chiles. He questions the point of more daylight if it merely extends the time spent under grey skies. In a surprising admission, he expresses a preference for the blackness of night over the grey of day, stating that black beats grey because it at least offers a definitive change.

A Glimmer of Hope?

During a recent blood test, a phlebotomist attempted to cheer Chiles up by reminding him that each day brings us closer to spring. However, the columnist remains sceptical, vowing to believe it only when he sees tangible signs of change. For now, he resigns himself to the ongoing greyness, urging it to return and complete its miserable cycle so that spring might eventually arrive.

Adrian Chiles' column resonates with anyone who has endured the long, colourless winter months in the United Kingdom, offering a candid and relatable perspective on seasonal affective challenges.