For generations, perfect school attendance was the gold standard for British children, with parents and teachers meticulously tracking every absence. However, the post-pandemic era has triggered a significant shift in parental attitudes toward time off, with many now embracing 'duvet days' as essential for their children's mental wellbeing.
The Rise of Mental Health Days
Groundbreaking research has revealed that three quarters of UK parents (75%) have permitted their children to miss school due to emotional exhaustion, fatigue, or simply not wanting to attend. The survey of 2,000 parents, conducted by Perspectus Global on behalf of education event Bett, indicates a substantial cultural change in how families approach education and wellbeing.
Among those surveyed, 40% expressed comfort with their children taking multiple duvet days throughout the academic year. The average number of mental health days taken over the past twelve months reached six per child, suggesting these aren't isolated incidents but rather an established practice in many households.
Parental Perspectives on Duvet Days
Many parents reported noticing improved behaviour in their children following these sanctioned breaks. Melissa Sagir Amos, a Hertfordshire-based mother-of-three, soul mentor and spiritual psychotherapist, has witnessed these benefits firsthand with her own family.
"It's something I feel quite strongly about because of my work," Melissa explains. "I help people with their mental health and spiritual development, and children don't really receive that same kind of support. They have demands placed upon them every single day - they're told where to be, what to wear and what to do constantly. Sometimes they simply want a day with their mother or a day when they don't have to be at school."
The 44-year-old professional believes allowing occasional days off helps build her children's sense of autonomy while making them happier and reducing complaints about school. She maintains two children in primary education and one in secondary school, noting her eldest rarely feels the need for time off while her younger children benefit more from these breaks.
Establishing Boundaries and Rules
Despite her supportive stance, Melissa emphasises that duvet days come with clear boundaries and expectations. "It's not every week - perhaps once per term that they take a day off," she clarifies. "I'm quite firm about it, so they understand they cannot take advantage. Maintaining good attendance remains important to me, but since they're never late and rarely off sick, I believe they deserve recognition for that responsibility."
When her children take mental health days, Melissa avoids pretending they're physically ill when communicating with school staff. "I don't claim they're sick. I simply state they're feeling under the weather and need to remain at home, which is truthful - they genuinely don't feel like attending."
These days don't involve endless screen time either. Instead, Melissa prioritises quality activities like watching films together, going for walks, or enjoying lunch out. "I ask what they'd like to do because I want them to feel some control over their lives," she says. "They're happier having that choice, and it has eliminated the constant morning battles. My son now skips into the kitchen after a day off without complaining about school."
Legal Considerations for Parents
Regardless of personal views on duvet days, parents should understand the legal framework surrounding school attendance. UK Government guidelines state: "You can only allow your child to miss school if either you have advance permission from the school or they're too ill to attend."
The regulations acknowledge that exceptional circumstances may warrant absence, with schools considering each request individually. However, local authorities and educational institutions possess legal powers to address unauthorised absence, including penalty notices, parenting orders, and potentially court action with fines up to £2,500, community orders, or imprisonment for up to three months for persistent violations.
Expert Insights on Balancing Rest and Routine
Becky Goddard-Hill from Nottingham permitted her daughter to take mental health days during A-Levels when she noticed her struggling with stress. "The first time she took a duvet day was my suggestion," Becky recalls. "I believed she genuinely needed it because school creates tremendous pressure for young people, and I wanted to prevent complete burnout."
She draws parallels between modern workplace practices and children's needs: "Numerous businesses now provide staff wellbeing days, and mental health is recognised as equally important as physical health. When students face examinations, the intensity leaves little space for breathing or reflection."
Despite valuing resilience and confronting challenges, Becky maintains that permitting children to rest remains crucial. She does caution other parents to ensure communication precedes permission: "Before agreeing to further days off, I verified there weren't underlying reasons for school avoidance, like bullying or falling behind academically. If those issues exist, you risk establishing patterns of school refusal."
Katie Rose, MBACP counsellor and founder of TherapEast, reminds families that school provides valuable structure and socialisation opportunities. "Educational settings give children routine, social interaction, and learning experiences while distracting them from other activities like social media consumption," she notes.
Nevertheless, the mental health expert agrees that occasional breaks prove "really important" when children feel overwhelmed. "We place enormous pressure on them regarding examinations, revision, perfect attendance and behaviour, so understandably it can become excessive. Providing one day off often increases engagement throughout the remaining time."
Katie emphasises that duvet days require structure to maximise benefits. "Ensure children understand how many mental health days they can take each term and that they're using them constructively. They need proper relaxation, nutritious food and quality sleep - not endless phone use or boasting to friends about missing school, which creates the wrong environment. We should frame these days as opportunities for genuine rest and recovery."
She concludes with advice for parents considering implementing duvet days: "Avoid agreeing out of desperation or exhaustion. This concerns your relationship with your child. Develop a proper strategy that demonstrates your ability to help manage their mental health effectively."
