Therapist Warns of Rising Toxic Masculinity in Primary School Boys
A disturbing trend is emerging among young boys in the UK, with therapists reporting a significant increase in the use of derogatory language, particularly towards mothers, driven by online platforms and toxic masculinity. According to a survey by the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP), shared exclusively with Metro, two in five therapists (41%) who work with children have observed a noticeable rise in the influence of toxic masculinity on boys. This data, gathered from nearly 3,000 accredited therapists, highlights a growing concern among professionals and parents alike.
Alarming Behavior in Young Children
Jenny Warwick, a counsellor specializing in adolescent parents, notes that while teenagers have long been known to hurl gendered insults, the trend is now affecting primary school-aged children, which she describes as especially concerning. In her experience, this behavior typically begins around age 10, upon entering Year 6. However, fellow BACP-registered child therapist Kemi Omijeh warns that boys as young as six can be impacted, with some online posts from parents revealing children as young as two using offensive terms like b***h.
Anonymous posts on parenting forums such as Reddit and Mumsnet detail shocking accounts. One mother shared that her children, aged six, three, and two, call her a b***h nearly every day, while another single mother reported her four-year-old using phrases like dumb f**k and b***h during angry outbursts. Although these extreme cases are rarer, most incidents involve children between 10 and 13 years old.
Impact on Schools and Teachers
The issue extends beyond the home, affecting educational environments as well. Claire, a secondary school teacher from Birmingham, who requested anonymity, reveals that misogyny is becoming increasingly common among teenage boys. She has experienced boys as young as 11 displaying negative attitudes towards female teachers, with the problem most prevalent in Year 8 and 9 students aged 12 to 14. Claire recounts instances of being called a b***h and facing disrespectful behavior, such as dirty looks and ignored instructions.
She emphasizes that the situation is definitely getting worse, taking a toll on female teachers who feel worn down by the constant disrespect. Despite school programs aimed at addressing the issue through small group sessions, Claire describes it as a battle you’re fighting on too many fronts. She attributes much of this behavior to social media, where hateful content normalizes such attitudes, making boys feel it is acceptable to display them publicly.
Online Influence and Parental Concerns
Therapists point to online platforms as a primary driver of this trend. Jenny Warwick explains that many young people are referred to therapy by schools due to online activity and exposure to extreme or polarising themes. Parents seek help when they notice increased tension or hostility when setting boundaries around internet use. Jenny notes that derogatory language often develops on gaming platforms and in group chats, but it can also appear unexpectedly in places like YouTube Shorts.
Parents often express feelings of guilt, questioning if they were too trusting of online spaces. However, Jenny advises that it is challenging to keep up with trends, as children quickly move on to new ones. She urges parents to pay attention to subtle shifts in language, such as the use of alpha male terms or dismissive attitudes labeled as banter. If something feels off, she recommends trusting that instinct as a sign that something is amiss.
Signs and Solutions for Parents
Kemi Omijeh highlights that toxic masculinity often manifests in young people through their comments, thoughts, and expressed feelings. She advises parents to watch for mood swings, increased anger, low mood, and changes in language when children describe themselves or their emotions. Early intervention is key to addressing these issues before they escalate.
Both therapists stress the importance of open communication and setting clear boundaries around online content. While it may be difficult to monitor every aspect of a child’s digital life, staying informed and engaged can help mitigate the influence of toxic ideologies. As this trend continues to grow, professionals and educators call for greater awareness and proactive measures to support healthy development in young boys.
