A routine hospital visit for a broken wrist and a black eye became the catalyst for one woman's escape from a decade of domestic abuse, after a nurse asked her a single, life-changing question.
The Turning Point in A&E
Arriving at the hospital in 2024, the woman, who we will call Anna to protect her identity, was terrified to reveal who had caused her injuries. Her husband, Paul*, had punched her in the face and twisted her arm, breaking her wrist, after finding her laughing on the phone to a friend. As a nurse assessed her, she remained silent out of fear. But when the nurse gently asked if her partner was responsible, Anna broke down in tears.
That moment triggered an immediate safeguarding response. The police, social services, and the charity Women's Aid were called. Professionals made it unequivocally clear that Anna and her children could not return home. Despite her protests, terrified of her husband's retaliation, she was advised to pack bags and flee to her parents' house while Paul was at work. She collected her children from school and left. That day marked the beginning of her journey to safety.
A Decade of Control and Violence
Anna met Paul online in 2012. The relationship moved quickly, and she was pregnant within six months. Early signs of his controlling behaviour emerged as he criticised her clothing, diet, and friendships. He systematically isolated her from her support network. The abuse escalated to physical violence after the birth of their first daughter in 2013, with Paul grabbing, shoving, and slapping her. He would snatch their baby and lock himself away, knowing Anna would not leave without her child.
Under UK law, Paul's actions constituted coercive control, a criminal offence covering emotional manipulation, financial control, and digital monitoring. He controlled all household money. During lockdown, colleagues noticed him hovering behind her on Zoom calls. He banned her from taking anti-anxiety medication prescribed by her GP because it stopped her crying when he screamed. He had affairs, which he blamed on her, and told her he would rather they were all dead than not be a family.
The violence culminated in the attack that sent her to hospital. Her mother, suspicious after a FaceTime call where Anna tried to hide her injuries, arrived at her door and took her to A&E.
The Long Road to Legal Safety
After fleeing, the police response felt lacking to Anna. An officer described it as a 'he said, she said' situation. Bail conditions preventing Paul from approaching her parents' home were not enforced; he came repeatedly, banging on the door. Each breach report led to an arrest and a release within 24 hours, leaving Anna in constant fear.
Turning point came with legal advice. Women's Aid recommended a family law specialist, Sharon. Sharon's first step was securing a non-molestation order, a legal barrier prohibiting harassment or contact. Breaching it would mean immediate arrest. Anna also applied for an occupation order to remove Paul from the family home, which he agreed to, avoiding a trial.
During divorce proceedings, Paul applied for full custody and represented himself, using family court hearings to attack Anna's character. Nearly a year after the hospital visit, the court ruled Paul had been abusive and granted him no direct contact with Anna or their children, only allowing letters and gifts on birthdays and Christmas.
The children, particularly the eldest, were relieved. Anna's daughter later disclosed things she had endured at Paul's hands that Anna never knew. The family now lives peacefully, though they remain cautious when out in their local area.
Getting Help: What You Need to Know
Anna's story underscores a national crisis. One in four women in the UK will experience domestic abuse in their lifetime. According to Refuge, 84% of victims are female, and on average, it takes seven attempts to leave for good. The police recorded a domestic abuse-related offence approximately every 40 seconds in 2023.
If you are experiencing abuse, charities advise:
- Start a confidential record of incidents, including dates, details, and any photos or messages.
- Make copies of important documents like passports and National Insurance numbers.
- Identify a safer room in your home with an exit and a phone.
- Pack an emergency bag if it is safe to do so.
The National Domestic Abuse Helpline (0808 2000 247) is open 24/7. In an emergency, call 999. If you cannot speak, use the Silent Solution: dial 999, listen, and then cough or tap. If prompted, press 55 to be connected to police.
For friends and family, support means listening without judgement, believing the victim, and avoiding criticism. You can help research safe exit plans or create a code word.
Anna's final message is one of hope: "There are women right now living exactly as I did. I hope they read this and realise they’re not alone."
*Names have been changed to protect identities.
