Women are speaking out about why they find it incredibly arousing when men make noise during sex, with many describing men's moans as the 'hottest thing ever' and a turn-on that makes them 'instantly wet'. The revelation comes amid growing discussion about the imbalance in bedroom vocalisations, where women typically dominate the soundscape.
The Sound Imbalance in Bedrooms
According to a poll by sex toy brand Lovehoney, 94% of women felt they were louder during sex than their partners, and 70% of men agreed with that assessment. This disparity has led many women to express frustration, wishing their male partners would be more vocal. The scientific term for sex noises is 'copulatory vocalisations', and it appears that men's reluctance to participate is a common complaint.
Women have taken to Reddit to share their thoughts, with user u/Elegant_Analyst_4976 writing: 'I love hearing [my partner] enjoying himself and the ruggedness of his groan. Gets me even more riled too.' Another user, u/Accomplished-Bit-884, proclaimed: 'Any noise from a guy is so f***ing hot.'
Why Men Stay Quiet
Men have offered various reasons for their silence. Some say they are used to staying quiet based on what they see in porn, and making noise makes them feel 'like an idiot'. Others admit they concentrate on lasting longer, so their partner can finish, and vocalising distracts them. User u/RobinGood94 explained: 'I am focused on not getting mentally sidetracked. I have a boner to maintain, so typically I am the one doing lots of thrusts and such. Feels great, but not typically moan-worthy.'
However, women argue that hearing a man's pleasure is a powerful aphrodisiac. u/nikolebakerbaker shared: 'I had to tell my partner that I desire to hear him moan and to know he doesn't have to "be quiet" or hold it in. Sexy man moans are the bessssssssssst. Instantly wet.' Another user, u/Linorelai, claimed growling was the 'second sexiest male sound in the world', right behind 'honey, I did the dishes'.
Expert Insight on the Power of Moans
Research by audio erotic site Bloom Stories revealed that moaning is the biggest bedroom pleaser, with 94% of those aged 25 to 34 saying it's a 'sure-fire' way to boost arousal. Experts agree that vocalisation can significantly enhance a couple's sex life.
Metro spoke to Tiff Hudson, a BACP registered therapist, who explained why women find men's moans so attractive. 'Many women find it a turn on when a partner makes noise during sex because it's clear, audible evidence that they're enjoying themselves,' Tiff says. 'Hearing a partner's breath, sighs, or moans is unambiguous, in-the-moment evidence that what's happening feels good.'
Tiff also notes that non-verbal cues reduce guesswork, build confidence, and help partners adjust touch, pace, and pressure accordingly. The sounds also deepen connection, as they signal presence, safety, and trust. 'When people stop trying to manage how they come across and let themselves be felt and heard, sex becomes more collaborative, attuned, and intimate,' she adds.
How Men Can Become More Vocal
For men who want to embrace vocalisation but feel shy, Tiff recommends starting small and real. 'Avoid performance theatrics; instead, let natural changes in your breathing lead you. This could mean slower inhales, longer exhales, and maybe a "mmm" when something lands.'
She also suggests pairing sounds with consent and feedback, using simple lines like 'right there', 'more of that', or 'yes'. 'Blending words and sound can feel less exposed at first and still conveys pleasure,' she explains. Practicing during solo play can also help build a body-memory of relaxed vocalising, making it easier with a partner.
'Sound is information, intimacy, and invitation. When people allow themselves to be heard enjoying sex, partners feel more connected and better guided, and that's what many find irresistibly hot,' Tiff concludes.
