A night of intended intimacy took a painful turn when a man accidentally applied tiger balm, a menthol and camphor ointment, to his erect penis instead of lubricant. The incident, described by Sydney Summers, a sex columnist for Metro, left him screaming in agony and serves as a cautionary tale about the importance of labeling and communication in the bedroom.
The Painful Discovery
Summers, who had been dating Theo for about a year, was awakened in the middle of the night by his enthusiastic advances. As she directed him to fetch the lube from her bedside table, she watched him fumble in the dark. It wasn't until the sharp, spicy odor of menthol filled the air that she realized the mistake. 'That's my tiger balm,' she confessed, as Theo jumped up, prancing naked and crying in pain.
The couple had been experiencing a dry spell, with work stress and Theo's antidepressant side effects taking a toll on their sex life. They had gone a month without sex, and Summers was eager to rekindle their physical connection. The mishap occurred just as they were attempting to break the drought.
A Series of Unfortunate Events
This wasn't their first failed attempt. Earlier, Summers had tried to initiate intimacy by wearing a chainmail outfit, but work distractions derailed the mood. Another attempt involved fluffy leopard print handcuffs, which ended with Summers exacerbating an old shoulder injury. Frustrated, they brought tiger balm to the bedroom to soothe her shoulder, leading to the fateful night.
When Theo screamed, Summers suggested calling an ambulance, but he refused out of pride. The next day, a doctor friend offered blunt advice: 'Stop putting tiger balm on your dick you idiot.' Fortunately, the pain subsided, and the couple managed to have sex a week later. The tiger balm was relegated to a downstairs cupboard, never to return to the bedroom.
Lessons Learned
This anecdote highlights the importance of clear communication and careful handling of personal care products, especially in intimate settings. It also underscores the challenges couples face in maintaining a healthy sex life amidst life's pressures. Summers' story, while humorous in hindsight, serves as a reminder that even the most well-intentioned efforts can go awry.
As Summers reflects, 'I don't think either of us expected this moment – but it definitely wasn't one we were going to forget.' The experience, though painful, brought a new level of understanding and laughter to their relationship.
