In a candid revelation, Melissa Todd, a professional dominatrix with three decades of experience, has disclosed that her favourite clients are happily married men. Writing for Metro, Todd argues that these men offer an ideal transactional dynamic, free from the emotional entanglements that can complicate encounters with other clients.
The Appeal of Married Men
Todd explains that married men are respectful of her private life because they have their own. They don't bombard her with messages or demand emotional support, as they have a wife for that. This discretion makes them easy to work with, allowing Todd to focus on her craft without the burden of managing a client's loneliness.
She contrasts this with clients who are single and isolated, noting that they often become 'troublesome.' Such clients may leave her feeling weighed down by their misery, with nothing waiting for them at home but an empty sofa and a microwave meal.
The Challenge of Lonely Clients
Todd particularly highlights the difficulties with lonely female clients, who, she says, often struggle to separate sex from emotion. After a session, these women may start to believe they've found a soulmate, misinterpreting Todd's professional skill as a personal connection. This can lead to excessive messaging, jealousy, and demands for attention, making them more trouble than they're worth. Many dommes, Todd notes, refuse to see women as a result.
Wives Who Know and Don't Know
When it comes to married men, Todd reveals that some wives are aware of their husbands' visits. Some encourage it, while others prefer not to ask questions. Occasionally, wives show up in person, which Todd finds disruptive to the dynamic, turning a focused one-to-one session into a group activity. She prefers to be 'Queen of my domain' without another woman commenting or sharing holiday plans.
However, when wives know, Todd can be more vigorous in her discipline. With secretive clients, she must be careful not to leave marks, as a decent cane stripe can take up to a month to fade, while a married man can only hide his bottom from his wife for about three days. Often, these men schedule sessions right after dropping their wives at the airport for holidays, seeking a more intense experience in the week they have alone.
No Conscience Pricks
Todd asserts that she feels no guilt towards the wives, believing that spouses don't stray if their partners meet their needs. She considers women married to submissive men to be lucky, as these men are loyal and eager to please. Her advice to such wives is to embrace the dynamic or not complain when their husbands seek her services.
She recounts one incident where a client's adult daughter called her a 'filthy slut' and told her to leave her father alone. Since the client was 'the wrong side of Milton Keynes and inclined to grope,' Todd was happy to comply. Generally, her clients are happily married in all but one area, and she believes her services actually prop up their marriages.
Advice for Couples
Todd acknowledges that BDSM may seem odd to those not into it, but she insists that being hit by someone who is bored and baffled is worse than not being hit at all. She advocates for couples to be more open about seeking her services, as secrecy can lead to mishandling of desires. Openness, she suggests, can lead to calmer, more functional relationships.
For husbands with unfulfilled desires, Todd offers two options: pretend to understand and have a devoted, grateful wife, or encourage him to visit her playroom. She promises to send him back 'giddy with hormones and joy,' benefiting all parties.
About the Author
Melissa Todd has been a sex worker for 30 years and writes about her experiences. This article was originally published in March 2026 and has been republished. For more stories, readers can email MetroLifestyleTeam@metro.co.uk.
