Parents need to stop talking about the school holidays as a massive chore, according to freelance writer and parent consultant Kirsty Ketley. In a recent article, Ketley criticises the trend of portraying the six-week summer break as an ordeal to survive, fuelled by social media posts that either showcase idyllic activities or joke about escaping children.
The rise of 'survival mode' parenting
Ketley points to a viral Instagram reel showing a margarita cocktail sliding into frame with the caption 'How I’ll be surviving the next 6 weeks' as an example of how parents frame the holidays. She notes that countdowns to September, wine jokes, and parents pretending to hide from their kids have become common online. 'On first viewing, it’s humorous and entirely relatable – the six-week holidays are not easy for any parent. I understand why those posts resonate,' she writes.
However, Ketley questions when spending time with children became something to endure. 'It makes me uneasy that the school holidays have gone from another parenting challenge, with all the highs and lows that brings, to being seen as six weeks to survive,' she says.
Unrealistic expectations and logistical challenges
Ketley argues that the problem is not the holidays themselves but the impossible expectations attached to them. For working parents, summer involves stretching annual leave, finding affordable childcare, booking holiday clubs before they sell out, and continuing to work. For stay-at-home parents, the challenges are different but equally real. 'Let’s not pretend either version is easy – it’s no wonder parents are exhausted before August has even arrived,' she adds.
Ketley acknowledges her own privilege: she is married to a teacher, so they avoid the stress of juggling work and childcare. While she works, her husband handles the children, but there is no elaborate bucket list or colour-coded spreadsheet. 'Some days, there is absolutely nothing planned. Some days, my children, Ella, 13, and Leo, 9, moan that they’re bored. For about ten minutes, anyhow, then something marvellous happens,' she writes.
Childhood memories versus social media pressure
Reflecting on her own childhood summers, Ketley recalls riding bikes, hanging out with friends, and watching TV when it rained. 'No one panicked because I’d run out of activities or worried that an ordinary Tuesday wasn’t making Insta-worthy moments. And yet those are some of my happiest childhood memories,' she says.
Social media exacerbates the pressure, with Instagram feeds showing idyllic beach days, elaborate picnics, and expensive adventures, alongside content framing the break as an endurance test. Ketley notes the irony: 'The memories children treasure most are often the ones we never planned. Sleeping in a tent in the garden. An impromptu water fight. Staying up a little later because there’s no school in the morning.'
Lowering the bar to enjoy the holidays
Ketley encourages parents to lower expectations and stop trying to make every day extraordinary. 'Children don’t need six weeks of constant stimulation,' she asserts. While there is nothing wrong with planning fun days out if budget allows, no parent should feel pressured to do so. 'Sometimes the best way to survive is when we lower the bar and stop trying so hard,' she writes.
She concludes by urging a shift in mindset: 'Perhaps this year, instead of asking how we’re going to survive the next six weeks, we should ask ourselves a different question. What if we stopped trying to survive them, and simply slowed down enough to try and enjoy them?'
