Emma Flint, a freelance journalist, recounts her journey of coming out as abrosexual in 2020 and the dismissive reaction she received from a close friend. 'When did you decide this? Is this even a label – I’ve never heard of it. I support you, obviously, but this doesn’t sound real.' Those words ended their friendship.
Abrosexuality, in simple terms, means that a person's sexual identity fluctuates and changes over time. Flint explains that she had never heard the term growing up in the 1990s, when society only recognized straight, gay, or lesbian orientations. Anything else was considered made up.
Flint did not learn about abrosexuality until she was 30. Before that, she struggled with her rapidly changing sexuality, feeling lost and like a fraud. She would identify as a lesbian one day and bisexual the next, leading to confusion and occasional hurtful comments from loved ones.
The turning point came when she discovered an Instagram post by Zoe Stoller, a US-based creator and educator focused on LGBTQ+ visibility. Flint recalls a lightbulb moment: 'Finally, I feel seen.'
Despite finding a term that fits, Flint still faces skepticism. People often ask what abrosexuality means, and some demand she 'pick a lane.' She emphasizes that questions are fine as long as they are respectful, but dismissive attitudes are hurtful. 'I refuse to be boxed in by someone else’s limited knowledge,' she writes.
Flint notes that being abrosexual does not impact her love life negatively. She loves the person, not their gender, so fluctuations in her sexuality do not affect her relationships. She hopes that abrosexuality will eventually be seen as a normal identity, not a trend.
She credits online educators like Stoller for helping her understand herself and urges others to step outside their comfort zones to learn about diverse identities. 'Acceptance can only come from education,' she says.
Flint concludes that she is no longer nervous about her sexuality because it makes sense to her. 'Being closed off from yourself is an awful experience,' she reflects, but now she embraces her fluid identity with excitement.
