SABSing, the offline dating trend that originated at the University of Pennsylvania, is now spreading across London, offering a refreshing alternative to dating apps. The term, short for 'See And Be Seen', was coined in 2024 by the university's student magazine, with editor-in-chief Natalia Castillo describing it as 'an art'. Now, Londoners are embracing the practice, which involves deliberately placing yourself in public spaces to increase the chances of a spontaneous romantic encounter.
What is SABSing?
SABSing is not simply going out; it's going out with a purpose. Unlike typical social outings driven by TikTok recommendations or planned dates, SABSing involves choosing a location with the specific intention of being seen and potentially meeting someone. It's about manufacturing spontaneity, creating the opportunity for a 'meet cute' that feels unplanned but is actually carefully orchestrated.
As Natalia Castillo explained, 'You duck for cover when you see that ex you swore you never wanted to see again, but you eagerly try to make eye contact with your class crush.' The practice is about offering yourself up to the possibility of a spontaneous interaction, a lost art in an era dominated by dating apps, Instagram DMs, and Teams messages.
How to SABS Successfully
To SABS effectively, you need to approach it like people watching, but with a twist: instead of being a passive observer, you're open to the possibility of a surprise run-in. The key is to choose a location where you feel confident and visible, and to dress in a way that makes you feel attractive.
For men, this might involve performatively throwing a rugby ball in Victoria Park or casually reading a Sylvia Plath novel at a pub. For women, it could mean spending a deliciously long time at Brockwell Lido or sipping orange wine at Netil360. The goal is to make an impression without letting anyone in on the secret that you're actively seeking attention.
Prime SABSing Spots in London
London offers countless opportunities for SABSing, and locals are eager to share their favorite spots. Bethan Sandall, 25, suggests Jumbi and Prince of Peckham, saying, 'I've managed to spot a couple of flings in Jumbi and Prince of Peckham – they're both really fun bars and the music always attracts the sexiest people.'
In South London, Ellie Parker, 28, recommends The Sun, Common Pizza, and The Prince of Wales in Clapham. Georgie Pike, 30, tells Metro that Gordon's Wine Bar is a prime location for locking eyes with an ex-situationship, being conveniently central and a favorite haunt for finance bros and marketing execs. She adds, 'My mate also bumped into their ex at The Florence in Herne Hill.'
For Emma Jackson, 27, the big M&S on Brixton high street serves as a performative weekly food shop that doubles as a SABSing opportunity. Cara Averill, 29, notes that for queer women, London Fields park and Broadway Market are easy places to run into people you've dated. In East London, Café 1001 off Brick Lane is considered prime SABSing real estate.
Why We Love SABSing
Counselling psychologist Madeleine Roantree explains the appeal: 'We're wired to belong, and social interactions historically happened because people occupied the same public spaces. Universities provide this environment, where you can 'hang out' in the quad or around the library. Visibility has a social function, as demonstrated by the 'mere exposure effect', where simply being exposed to someone increases their likability. It breeds familiarity, which is a precursor to forming a bond.'
So, while we might think we're simply lingering, we're actually trying to create 'spontaneous' moments and manufacture a sense of closeness. This understanding doesn't discourage SABSing; rather, it helps us comprehend where this desire comes from. The next time you find yourself spending an afternoon perched beside a particular pedalo where you once saw your crush, just make sure you're enjoying yourself too.
