On Tuesday night, Jimmy Kimmel took aim at Donald Trump Jr's wedding in the Bahamas, the New York Knicks' NBA finals appearance, and the president's claims of a 'perfect' physical exam.
Trump's No-Show at Son's Wedding
Kimmel noted that Trump Jr married Bettina Anderson on Saturday with 40 guests, 'none of whom were his father.' Trump claimed on Truth Social he wanted to attend but stayed in Washington due to 'important' government matters. Kimmel joked, 'He had circumstances pertaining to government – and also flying to a private island makes him miss his friend Jeffrey,' referencing Jeffrey Epstein. 'This is a guy who golfs two, three times a week, he's going to UFC fights with Vanilla Ice. He was too busy for his son's wedding.' Kimmel added that Trump knows great marriages, having had three himself.
A larger White House celebration is planned for the fall, with Trump expected to attend. 'Well, you'd hope so, they live there,' Kimmel said. 'Can you imagine if they didn't show up to that one, too? We wanted to make it, but we were unable to go downstairs.'
Iran Conflict and Memorial Day
Kimmel addressed the Iran conflict, saying Trump is 'stuck in [the war] like a pig in a vat of chocolate pudding.' Despite Trump's claim of a near-final deal, US bombs continue to strike Iran. 'It's as if that Fifa peace prize means nothing to this man,' joked Kimmel.
On Memorial Day, Trump posted a message wishing a happy holiday to all, 'including the Dumbocrats who disrespect our military…God bless those that have made the ultimate sacrifice. I love you all.' Kimmel responded, 'No one puts the 'me' in Memorial Day like Donald J Trump.'
Trump's Health Claims
Trump rebuked reports of poor fitness, having his third physical in just over a year and claiming everything checked out 'PERFECTLY.' Kimmel quipped, 'Do you think when they do these he knows he's going to the hospital, or is it like when you trick your dog into going to the vet?'
RFK Jr's Snake Attack
Kimmel concluded with a video of Robert F Kennedy Jr picking up two snakes. 'They're trying to bite him!' Kimmel exclaimed. 'He's like, don't worry, I've handled raccoon penis, I know what I'm doing.' Kennedy was bitten multiple times. 'That's when you know the guy's a genius, when it happens multiple times. His skin is like an old saddle. Nothing breaks through. He's dangling these snakes like they're yo-yos or something. And then he took them in the house and ate them like Twizzlers.'
