Meg Mason, author of Sorrow and Bliss, investigates the phenomenon of parasocial relationships between readers and authors, drawing on her personal experience with Nancy Mitford's novels and expert commentary. The term, named Cambridge Dictionary's word of the year in 2025, refers to a connection someone feels with a famous person they do not know, and Mason reveals that such bonds are more common than often admitted.
Mason's Personal Encounter with a Parasocial Bond
In the summer before university, Mason's mother gave her a copy of The Pursuit of Love by Nancy Mitford. Having moved countries at the start of her A-levels, Mason faced profound loneliness, describing it as "so acute and pervasive it feels like panic." Her mother, an avid reader, often said, "When you've got a book, you've got a friend," a sentiment Mason initially dismissed because she had real friends. Yet, in her isolation, she accepted the paperback and found immediate solace in Mitford's humour and characters.
Mason read all of Mitford's novels, finding company in the characters and eventually in the author herself. She privately believed that had she met Mitford, they would have become friends. Even at age 48, Mason admits, "I still find it hard to believe she isn't actually my friend." She never initially labelled this a parasocial relationship, viewing the term as "creepy, an activity of the unhinged," but now recognises it as precisely that.
The Nature and Prevalence of Parasocial Relationships
The concept dates back to the 1950s, coined by academics studying television viewers' connections to characters. While statistics are elusive, an online study suggested that "51% of Americans have likely been in parasocial relationships," though "only 16% admit to it." Mason's latest novel, Sophie, Standing There, explores such a bond between a reader and an author, and she consulted fellow writer Cathy Rentzenbrink, who experienced a similar connection while writing The Agatha Christie Cure, a memoir about rereading Christie after her divorce.
Rentzenbrink admitted to talking to Christie: "I started talking to her and she was talking back. I am a bit embarrassed, not by the experience, which was wondrous, but by what people might say or how they might judge me. I was often scared I was going mad." Sociologist Dr Georgia Carroll, whose research focuses on parasocial relationships, reassures that such experiences are common: "I think almost every single person has had one, whether it's with Taylor Swift, or the millions of people who feel connected to Lewis Hamilton." Carroll notes that while all parasocial relationships share the key trait of being non-reciprocal, reader-author bonds are often deeper because books hold significant places in readers' lives.
Why Reading Fosters Unique Connections
Carroll emphasises the solitary nature of reading, stating, "That one-to-one element is critical. The feeling that the author is talking only to you." Rentzenbrink adds that readers are trained to fill in gaps, "to convert sentences into multi-dimensional worlds," making them more primed for such connections. Book blogger Tilly Fitzgerald agrees, saying, "It's all too easy for the lines to be blurred between a character we love, and the author who created that character."
Author Barbara Trapido, known for Brother of the More Famous Jack, has formed many deep relationships with characters, including believing she was Henry James's Isabel Archer at age 17. She also recalls talking to Shakespeare "through yearning," calling it "massively exciting to have the privilege of talking to the dead." Rentzenbrink notes that a dead author can be easier to connect with because they do not change, whereas living authors can disappoint, as seen in fan reactions to JK Rowling.
The Impact of Modern Media and Author Perspectives
Podcasts have intensified parasocial bonds, as Jack Edwards of the Inklings Book Club podcast explains: "We bring the author's voice into our homes, on to our morning commute, into our safe spaces, so it's a together-aloneness." Edwards notes that authors often record from home, inviting listeners in, which makes the connection feel more intimate.
From an author's perspective, Mason observes that readers are passionate but respectful, citing Sorrow and Bliss tattoos as an example. Trapido enjoys readers approaching her, though they often apologise. Mason concludes that authors constantly try to connect with readers, and the idea that a fictionalised version of herself provides company is "extraordinary and a privilege." She remains grateful for Nancy Mitford's presence in her life. Sophie, Standing There is published by Bloomsbury on 27 August.
