After six years, Guardian columnist Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett has quit her local organic veg bag collective, describing the move as a self-care hack that has saved her from a potential breakdown. The weekly delivery of organic, local seasonal vegetables, which she joined during the pandemic, had become a source of mental strain and emotional labour, particularly the challenge of identifying and cooking esoteric vegetables.
The Final Squash and the Ritual of Identification
Cosslett recounts the final squash as the 'sole survivor' of the season, approached with the same ritual she had performed countless times: trying to identify it via Google and image search, only to fail. 'Medium-sized frilly orange pumpkin type' yielded no match, and AI image search also failed. She notes that despite its supposed capabilities, AI never successfully identified a single pumpkin during her experiments. This time, however, her cortisol stayed stable, as she knew it was the last time she would expend such effort before defaulting to her usual method: chopping and roasting.
The Emotional Labour and Guilt of Leaving
Leaving the collective was not easy for Cosslett, who was raised by a 'veg box mum' and felt membership was her 'destiny' and 'birthright'. She acknowledges the ethical appeal, saying, 'Being a member felt like the right, ethical thing to do,' and her husband defends the service as 'a great service'. Yet, she admits her heart hadn't been in it for at least two years, describing the relationship as 'toxic' but feeling guilty about leaving. The burden was particularly heavy after having her son, with winter months spent 'cursing the endless beetroot' and by March, the family was 'about 65% parsnip'. The promise of spring asparagus kept them renewing, but the cycle of unpacking on Wednesdays with sighs of 'More bloody parsnips' took its toll.
Liberation and Shared Experiences
The decision to quit has brought a profound sense of relief. Cosslett posted on Instagram, 'I feel so fucking free, you guys!' and was inundated with responses from others on similar journeys, some of whom argued with their spouses about rotting vegetables at the bottom of their fridges. She notes that while the veg is 'more ethical, better for you, and tastier than anything from a supermarket', the mental load was unsustainable. 'It may sound hyperbolic, but getting rid of the veg bag has saved me from a breakdown, possibly,' she writes.
Fond Memories and a Final Farewell
Despite the liberation, Cosslett has fond memories: the collective fed her family during the pandemic when shop items were scarce, her son was weaned on pureed celeriac, and she discovered vegetables like winter purslane and land cress. She adored the rainbow chard and even the kohlrabi made a nice rosti. The final squash was 'completely and utterly delicious, as if to try to tempt me back', but she remains resolute: 'But no. It's over. And I am finally free.'
