Yashita Banymadhub, a freelance journalist, has faced bullying over her name for most of her life, but she now refuses to change it. In a personal essay for Metro, she recounts how she was taunted by classmates and even a teacher, and how she eventually learned to embrace her identity.
Childhood Taunts and a Teacher's Cruelty
Banymadhub, who grew up in Mauritius and moved to the UK before age 10, was called 'Yashitty' by peers. One incident at age 14 on a school trip to Normandy stands out: a friend, referred to as Rachel, said, 'Your name's got s**t in it.' The taunts continued, with popular girls singing a rhyme: 'Yashitty your poo is big and green. Yashitty, you smell like Vaseline.'
Even a P.E. teacher joined in, deliberately mispronouncing her name as 'Yashitty' during roll call, laughing without masking it. This weekly occurrence led Banymadhub to skip P.E. as often as possible, often claiming period pain to stay in the medical room.
A Name Change Considered but Rejected
At age 14, after a tearful conversation with her mother, Banymadhub considered changing her name. But she ultimately decided against it, not wanting the bullies to win. Instead, she unofficially shortened it to 'Yashi' at university, and has used that abbreviation professionally as a journalist.
In adulthood, her last name, Banymadhub, has also been mocked. A customer service assistant once called it 'an interesting collection of letters.' Banymadhub wanted to respond that it was the name of her grandparents and great-grandparents who survived forced displacement, colonisation, and indentured labour.
From Shame to Pride
Through therapy and learning about others' experiences with racism, Banymadhub has come to see that the problem lies with racist people, not her identity. She now feels proud and protective of her name, and no longer wishes to change it. 'I love it,' she writes.
She acknowledges that ridding herself of internalised racism is a neverending lesson in self-acceptance, quoting James Baldwin: 'vomiting up all the filth I'd been taught about myself, and half-believed.' The name that once made her flinch now brings compassion for her younger self and pride in her heritage.
