Adrian Chiles' Oven Nightmare: A Touchscreen Tech Disaster
Adrian Chiles recently purchased a new oven, and he deeply regrets it. In a scathing critique, he compares ovens to homes, cars, pets, and partners, noting that you can't truly know what living with them is like until it's too late. All he wanted was a simple appliance that heats to a chosen temperature and switches off when done, but in today's market, such basic functionality seems like a relic of the past.
The Curse of the Touchscreen Oven
His new oven lacks a traditional knob, instead featuring a touchscreen that initially promised simplicity but delivered only frustration. Chiles describes it as reminiscent of a Tesla car's cabin—sleek on the surface but hiding a world of pain and unnecessary complexity. Upon switching it on, he was immediately confronted with a bewildering array of heating options.
The first option, "HOT AIR," left him baffled and irritated. Is it just a fan oven? He may never know. Other choices included TOP/BOTTOM HEAT, CIRCO THERM GENTLE, TOP/BOTTOM HEAT GENTLE, AIR FRY, CIRCO ROASTING, and BOTTOM HEAT. Chiles recalls a college acquaintance who similarly avoided straightforward language, asking for "hot bread" instead of toast, and wonders if she ended up designing such ovens.
Temperature Troubles and Connectivity Demands
Selecting a temperature proved equally maddening, with options like 30, 100, 120, 140, 160, 180, 210, and 230 degrees—why these specific numbers, and why the gap between 30 and 100? Occasionally, he managed to set other temperatures but couldn't replicate the process, adding to his disdain. At 59 years old, he fears this oven might outlive him, a grim thought for what could be his last.
The real agony began with the oven's insistence on connecting to his broadband. Initially resistant, Chiles relented under threats of dysfunction without updates. Now, he's trapped in a cycle of constant communication: the oven messages him when it switches off, asks if he wants more heat, and pings his phone with alerts and update requests. In a world where he struggles to get responses from his bank, broadband provider, doctor, or even his daughters, this unwanted appliance won't give him a moment's peace.
The Internet of Things: A Load of Hot Air
Chiles reflects on the broader issue of the Internet of Things, dismissing it as "all balls" and "a load of hot air." While he acknowledges a minor upside—like remotely turning off the oven if he forgets it on—the relentless nagging and complexity overshadow any benefits. His experience serves as a cautionary tale about over-engineered technology that prioritizes flashy features over user-friendly design.
