Noah Caluori has scored 18 tries in nine Premiership matches and starred in Saracens' weekend win against Leicester. England's management must soon pick their most gifted athletic talent in a generation.
Celebrating Elite Speed Machines
The aerial ability of Saracens' Noah Caluori makes him another dream player for rugby union's marketers. As Kenya's Sabastian Sawe crossed the line to complete his world-record London Marathon sprint on Sunday, BBC commentator Steve Cram almost swallowed his microphone. "Absolutely incredible. I've never seen anything like that. What a finish." Running 26.2 miles in under two hours is certainly spectacular but, sorry Steve, it only ranked as the second-best finish seen in the capital at the weekend.
That honour, yet again, was claimed by the Saracens winger Noah Caluori in his side's home win over Leicester. Chip and chase tries are rarely straightforward but this one was from another planet: a deft dink over the top just outside the Tigers' 22, searing acceleration around the stranded cover, a balletic leap to regather the ball while somehow staying infield and an irresistible touchdown in the right corner. Over to you, Sabastian.
Remarkable Consistency
Nor was it remotely a one-off. The previous week, for the second time this season, Caluori registered five tries in a game against Sale. The first time he managed the feat, on his first senior league start in October, former British & Irish Lions captain Sam Warburton called it straight away on TNT Sports. "I haven't seen a player this good in the air, ever, and he's a teenager," said Warburton. "Get him in the England squad. He's got it. This kid is going to be amazing."
Subsequently, the new kid in town has taken his tally to 18 tries in just nine Premiership matches – two short of Sam Simmonds' all-time league record. It is a strike rate that would impress even France's prolific Louis Bielle-Biarrey, the two-time Six Nations player of the year, who awaits Bath in Sunday's Champions Cup semi-final in Bordeaux.
Comparison with Elite
This is unlikely to be the last occasion, given how rapidly things are unfolding, that Caluori and Bielle-Biarrey are mentioned in the same sentence. At 19 and 22 respectively, the phrase "cheat code" is routinely used about both of them, such is their ability to transcend "normal" rugby boundaries. So much for old rugby's inch-by-inch muddy attrition and frozen-fingered wingers standing idle on the periphery.
It also opens up a range of other possibilities. Those in charge of marketing the Premiership have talked repeatedly about the importance of accentuating the gladiatorial aspect of the sport. But what if that strategy has already been outflanked and left behind by something more vital and exciting? By feet so quick and wits so sharp that, in the wider public imagination, the game becomes less about size and collisions and more about jaw-dropping skill and ability.
Unique Aerial Ability
Take Caluori's vertical jump. Some who have faced him this season argue he is not yet the finished product. He has, at times, even been edged out of the spotlight by his clubmate Jack Bracken when both have featured in the second-tier Championship for Ampthill. Bracken, incidentally, looks another surefire future international player, as does his brother Charlie, an incisive, quick-thinking scrum-half with excellent distribution skills.
Hoist the ball in the air, though, and Warburton is right: Caluori really is different gravy. Lift him in the lineout and he'd be unplayable. Perhaps the highest-flying aerial operators in union have been the Wallaby duo of Israel Folau and Joseph-Aukuso Suaalii but, from a standing start, Caluori touches clouds even they struggle to scrape. As Austin Healey observed following the young winger's Superman-esque dive into the right corner against the Sharks: "Who's put a miniature trampoline in that corner of the field?"
It's a similar story with Bielle-Biarrey who, along with that legendary cartoon character Hong Kong Phooey, is quicker than the human eye. But as well as their super-strengths, he and Caluori also possess the razor-sharp attacking instincts to match. In the past, coaches and selectors have prioritised the need for an all-round game, not least defensively. Just occasionally, though, the sheer terror on the faces of outclassed opponents says it all.
England Selection Imperative
All of which puts the ball firmly in the court of England's management. Until now, Caluori has not been trusted beyond the training field in Bagshot, either deemed too callow or too great a risk. No longer is that a permissible excuse. It is approaching the point where failing to pick the most extravagantly gifted English athletic talent in a generation, regardless of age or the opposition, will be an aberration.
If you were a really canny promoter seeking to attract a new young audience to rugby, you would certainly look no further. Unless, of course, you saw Immanuel Feyi-Waboso starring for Exeter at Gloucester. The Chiefs were below par but Feyi-Waboso, still just 23, was outstanding. Give him the ball and not only does a buzz of electricity ripple around the stadium but his ridiculous yardage stats and ability to swerve past opponents in traffic set him apart.
Women's Game Parallel
It is a similar story in the women's game with Ellie Kildunne; following the retirement of Abby Dow, it may well be that Kildunne now spends more time on the wing. Either way, she has already captured thousands of youthful imaginations with her gliding running and refreshing desire to back herself. So much so she was even invited to be the official starter of the London Marathon that the 31-year-old Sawe won so impressively on Sunday.
This would suggest her appeal is starting to transcend rugby, with Bielle-Biarrey, Caluori and Feyi-Waboso on track to do likewise. Goodwood hosts its annual Festival of Speed for motor sport lovers in July and rugby could soon be able to stage something similar on a pitch near you. Between them, Bielle-Biarrey, Caluori and Feyi-Waboso have the ability to launch rugby's image into the stratosphere and transform it into the most compelling fast show in sport.
