For Daniel Wood, the frantic rush to untangle fairy lights and hang baubles on a brand new Christmas tree last week was a moment of profound surrealism. Just a year ago, he was decorating leisurely with friends over drinks. This time, he had a strict 90-minute window before his 18-month-old son woke from his afternoon nap.
A Long-Held Dream of Fatherhood
The simple phrase ‘my son’ still feels surreal to Daniel, not only because of the intensive, year-long adoption process but because, as a single gay man, he was long uncertain he would ever have children. He recognised his attraction to men from a young age, but the prospect of coming out was terrifying. With no gay representation at his school, no openly gay acquaintances, and gay marriage still illegal two decades ago, he agonised over his sexuality for years.
Around the age of 18, the desire to be a father emerged. Yet, he could not conceive how to make that happen as an openly gay man. Growing up in an environment where same-sex parent families were unheard of, he felt pushed back into the closet for another three to four years. It was only at 23, after falling deeply for a colleague, that he finally embraced his true identity.
Love and marriage followed, bringing with them conversations about starting a family through adoption. For a while, it seemed his fears had vanished and family life was within reach. However, after five years together, the marriage ended in divorce. Daniel believed his chances of having a family had significantly diminished, never considering it a possibility as a single man.
The Turning Point Towards Solo Adoption
Daniel spent the next 13 years contentedly single, building a fulfilling life filled with travel and career success. He assumed a family would follow once he found a partner who shared his dreams. A pivotal shift occurred in the summer of 2024. Shortly after finishing renovations on his dream house, four of his oldest friends and their 18-month-old children visited from Dubai.
For two months, his home was filled with the chaos and joy of toddler life: repeated viewings of the Sing movies, countless soft-play sessions, and first birthday celebrations. With toys scattered and toddlers running amok, his house truly felt like a home. When his friends left in September, the silence was deafening. The urge to become a father, suppressed for over two decades, surged back stronger than ever. He decided it was time to explore having children alone.
Approaching his 40th birthday and with lingering doubts about his options as a single, gay man, he had no idea where to start. Extensive research and conversations with several agencies began, bolstered by the excited support of his parents. In November 2024, he had his first call with Adoption Matters.
The Supportive Path to Fatherhood
From that initial conversation, Adoption Matters never questioned his suitability based on his being single, male, and gay. Their team provided a safe, caring space for open discussion, which he found overwhelmingly supportive. The subsequent process involved significant administration: risk assessments, dog assessments, and a mountain of forms.
Once approved, he undertook five days of adopter preparation training, covering topics from why children enter care to therapeutic parenting for early trauma. He was also given access to a national adoption software system, where he read 312 profiles of children waiting for families. The first child he ‘bookmarked’ was a little boy named Freddie*, whose profile noted he ‘loves to sing at the top of his voice around the supermarket.’
On Father’s Day, Daniel decided he wanted to pursue adopting Freddie. After months of paperwork, references, checks, and social worker visits, his Prospective Adopters Report was approved. A month later, they met for the first time at an informal ‘bump-in’ meeting at a music group.
The connection was instant. Freddie, a cheeky chappy who had just learned to walk, immediately began running around stealing instruments. When he ran over and handed Daniel a tambourine, the bond was sealed. Daniel cited this moment to the matching panel, who gave a unanimous ‘yes’ to the match.
A two-week transition period followed, culminating in Freddie moving in permanently in October. The first fortnight was challenging, filled with vigilant days and sleepless nights, but it grew easier each week. Freddie is now a tenacious, funny, and loving 18-month-old who brings immense joy to Daniel, his family, and friends.
This Christmas, their first as a family of two, is set to be magical, with plans to see Santa, visit Lapland UK, and leave carrots out for Rudolph. But for Daniel, the greatest gift is clear. When Freddie woke from his nap (exactly 90 minutes later) and saw the Christmas tree for the first time, his look of happiness, excitement, and intrigue created a memory Daniel will cherish forever.
*Names have been changed.
