The Unexpected Christmas Visitor
On 23 December 1975, Rob Parsons and his wife Diane were preparing for Christmas in their Cardiff home when an unexpected knock interrupted their evening. Initially contemplating ignoring the door after already dealing with carol singers, Rob, now 77, decided to answer.
Standing on their doorstep was a man with several days' stubble, dirty clothes, and messy brown hair. "Don't you know who I am? I'm Ronnie Lockwood," the stranger declared, thrusting a black bin bag containing all his possessions and a frozen chicken into Rob's hands.
Although Rob didn't recognise him initially, memories soon came flooding back. Ronnie had attended the same Sunday School decades earlier, where teachers noted he "had some challenges." He had disappeared when he was eight or nine years old, later learning the local authority had taken him from his parents and placed him in what was disgracefully described as "a school for subnormal boys" 200 miles away.
From Temporary Stay to Permanent Home
When Rob asked about the frozen chicken, Ronnie explained someone had given it to him for Christmas but he couldn't cook it. The couple invited him inside, where Diane prepared a roast dinner while Rob made coffee.
During their kitchen table conversation, they discovered Ronnie had been sleeping "here and there." After he went to watch Coronation Street, Rob and Diane discussed what to do and decided to let him stay until after Boxing Day, insisting he shower and let Diane wash his clothes.
That Christmas, they took him to midnight carol service and bought him gifts, though the celebration felt strange with Rob's visiting parents. Ronnie proved domestically helpful, meticulously washing up and unloading the dishwasher.
When Boxing Day passed, the couple realised they couldn't cast him out. They sought advice from homeless authorities, who explained the catch-22 situation many homeless people face: needing an address to get a job, but needing a job to get an address.
They allowed Ronnie to stay in their spare room while he established himself as a dustman. Those planned couple of months turned into 45 years.
Becoming Family Through Challenges and Kindness
Life with Ronnie presented challenges. Diane once remarked: "I don't know whether I am his friend, his sister, his social worker or his mother."
Ronnie could be frustrating - waking them early with kitchen clattering, developing a gambling addiction, and requiring reminders about personal hygiene. Yet Rob remembers him as "the kindest man."
When the family home felt too small after Diane gave birth to their second child, they attempted to ask Ronnie to find his own place. But when he asked "Have I done a bad thing?" - a phrase from his care home days - Diane burst into tears and they couldn't go through with it.
Later, Ronnie asked: "We'll be together forever, won't we?" After exchanging looks, Rob and Diane agreed they would.
Rob eventually discovered more about Ronnie's traumatic childhood. In 1953, his parents told him he was going on a "little holiday" alone. A social worker collected him and drove him to a home where, during a cruel initiation ceremony, other boys made him walk along a ten-foot glass-topped wall. He fell, smashing his knees and becoming disabled for life.
When Diane developed ME after gallbladder surgery, a miscarriage, childbirth, and moving house, Ronnie stepped up to help, making baby bottles, watching their daughter Katie, and preparing simple meals.
"When he joined us, he was a lodger, then he became a friend, and suddenly became the brother I never had," Rob explained.
A Heartbreaking End and Lasting Legacy
Ronnie remained through children growing up and grandchildren arriving, always faithfully stacking and unloading the dishwasher. Then in 2020, he fell in his room and couldn't move.
As ambulance doors closed, Rob shouted "I love you Ronnie" and received the same back. In hospital, Ronnie suffered a stroke, and due to strict lockdown restrictions, the couple could barely visit. They saw him only once in two months, through a hospital window. He deteriorated, had another stroke, and passed away at 75 with them by his bedside.
Three days after his death, an elderly woman arrived with flowers, explaining Ronnie had helped her after her husband died by taking her bin out weekly.
A new £1.6 million wellbeing centre in Cardiff was named after him - The Lockwood Centre - partly funded by Ronnie's estate and opened by then First Minister of Wales Mark Drakeford.
Reflecting on their extraordinary journey, Rob said: "Ronnie Lockwood was a gift to us all." Despite the challenges, both the couple and their children agreed they wouldn't change their decision to welcome him into their family for those 45 years.
