Miren Shah, a 29-year-old civil servant from Barnet, North London, has found a community of like-minded men after struggling with loneliness and burnout following the end of his 10-year relationship. He joined Shoulder to Shoulder, a London-based social club for men, in December 2025, and says the experience changed his life.
Loneliness after a decade-long relationship
Miren said his life changed when his long-term relationship ended, leaving him dealing with burnout and a realisation that he was craving physical touch. He admitted he "didn't know how to navigate life alone" and found himself yearning for emotional and physical connection.
"I guess for me, I never really realised how lonely I actually was. I was in a relationship for nearly 10 years, so basically my entire adult life, but I don't think I ever really built a community of my own," he said. "I didn't have loads of people I could just message and be like, coffee? walk? pub? I definitely didn't have many close male friendships either."
Growing up, Miren said he lacked "male allies" and often felt he didn't match what a man was "supposed to" be. He recalled being branded "really sensitive" by "very hard-faced men" who kept their emotions under wraps.
Finding Shoulder to Shoulder
Miren discovered Shoulder to Shoulder while browsing Reddit, where a post asked: "Are you a man? Has your friendship circle fizzled out? Has loneliness crept up?" He said the message "really spoke" to him, though he was initially sceptical.
In December 2025, he became a member of the group, founded by Tom Stroud and Dan Shrigley, which has approximately 2,000 members across London. Miren recalled attending a gathering in Hyde Park with around 200 men in freezing weather.
"I just remembered looking around like, 'wow', I was a shell of myself; I thought I would give it five shots. But from that moment, my life changed forever; I felt like my voice was heard," he said.
Impact of the group
Miren said he has finally found men he can be himself around, without having to change how he shows up. "I could hug my mates, tell them I love them, hype them up, have really deep conversations with them and actually get that same warmth back," he said.
A survey of 2,000 men found that nearly half admitted to craving more physical affection, with one in ten unable to recall the last time they received a hug. Miren's experience reflects this broader trend of male loneliness, which the group aims to combat.
Miren added: "I never stopped being affectionate because of it, though. If anything, I think I've always wanted people to feel loved and appreciated because I know how much those things can mean."
