A couple with three children and several grandchildren is grappling with whether to reveal the contents of their will before they die. They have provided considerable financial help to their children for first homes and made sizeable contributions to grandchildren's education funds. Their will contains surprises, including jewellery bequeathed only to granddaughters and a distribution plan across three generations.
The couple explains their reasoning: they believe descendants need more assistance when young, for education, setting up home, and starting a family. They want to give the gift of knowing the bequests came from them, not through their parents' generosity. However, they worry that revealing the will now might be seen as seeking opinions, which they emphatically are not, while discovering provisions only upon death could lead to misunderstandings.
Legal Perspective on Will Disclosure
Gary Rycroft, a lawyer and wills specialist, advised that "there is no legal requirement to tell anyone, including your children, what's in your will. It is your money, your property and, ultimately, your decision. A will is not decided by a family committee." This applies in England and Wales, where you can leave your estate to whomever you want.
Rycroft and the columnist both advocate discussing matters ahead of time. "I'm a fan of transparency," said Rycroft. "No one likes surprises in wills, especially if the surprise is getting less than expected. And while the will is clear about who gets what, families can be left very unclear about why."
The Risks of Unexpected Wills
The columnist notes having seen families torn asunder by unexpected wills. There is also the unknown of what might happen between now and when the will becomes active. If you have an argument with a family member, they might think the will is retribution, even if it was clearly dated before the row. It is also likely that either the husband or wife will die first, so discussing it beforehand is best done together.
The couple has explained their thinking in a document accompanying the will. Rycroft recommends making this a "more formal 'memorandum of wishes'. The will is still the legally operative document and the memorandum does not rewrite or trump it. Its value is in explaining the decisions." This stands even if you have a meeting to explain, as people tend to forget what was said or recall only what they want to.
Practical Considerations for Inheritance Planning
Rycroft counselled, "Remember, an inheritance is not just about what you leave behind. It's also about how a person will be remembered." Additionally, anyone over 18 who is left something can vary their inheritance within a time limit using a deed of variation, changing who gets their share. After death, we cannot control those we leave behind.
The advice column, written by Annalisa Barbieri, addresses personal problems sent in by readers. Submissions are subject to terms and conditions, and comments are pre-moderated to keep discussion on topic.
