Selina Flavius, founder of Black Girl Finance, was with her partner Ray for 10 years, living together for seven, and just six months from marriage when he died unexpectedly at 57 in 2022. Because they were not married, she was left with no legal rights to his assets or funds, and no access to Bereavement Support Payments. She now supports a government consultation to reform relationship laws in England and Wales.
Legal void for cohabiting partners
Flavius explained that in the eyes of the law, being a long-term partner rather than a wife meant nothing. When Ray died intestate, the rules meant a spouse or civil partner, children, or other relatives inherit, but co-habiting partners are not included. She described the shock of discovering there is no 'common law' wife or husband in the UK.
The house she and Ray lived in was jointly owned by him and his ex-wife. As soon as he passed away, the bank and property were transferred to his ex-wife. Flavius said the ex-wife was kind and reasonable, but it left her feeling like a stranger in her own home, so she moved out after a month.
Emotional and financial impact
Flavius was kept out of the loop for Ray's funeral due to fractured relations with his family. She only found out where he was buried because the coroner recognised her as an interested party. She arranged a celebration of his life with friends, but described the experience as devastating.
Financially, she had no access to his funds and no Bereavement Support Payments, which at the standard rate is a lump sum of £2,500 and monthly payments of £100 for 18 months. She relied on wedding savings from her own account and a small rental income. Her business, Black Girl Finance, nearly collapsed; she credited her small team for keeping it alive.
Call for law reform
Flavius noted that a government consultation to reform the law governing financial arrangements and protections when relationships end in England and Wales ended today. She stressed that more couples are living together without marrying, and the law needs to catch up.
She encouraged cohabiting couples to get their affairs in order but argued that a shared life should be recognised even without a wedding. She concluded that bereaved unmarried partners should not be made to feel they do not exist at the worst time in their lives.
