The rooftop hello that led to my neighbour's bed
When I heard the deep voice call out "I'm coming!" from behind my neighbour's door, I struggled to contain my giggles at the sheer absurdity of the evening. As Patrick* opened the door, already half-naked and clearly eager for my arrival, he smiled and ushered me inside before leading me upstairs to his bedroom.
If someone had told me earlier that day that I'd end up sleeping with the man who lived across the road, I would have laughed in disbelief. Our story began a decade earlier during a summer heatwave, when we first met while sunbathing on our respective rooftops. We exchanged glances across the distance before he finally shouted "Hello" and invited me over for a neighbourly beer.
Even from that initial distance, I could tell he was attractive, and there was an undeniable spark when I ventured over for that drink. We exchanged numbers, and though I was surprised when he texted hours later asking if I wanted to return for a nightcap, I knew exactly what he meant - and I was game.
Once his housemate had gone to sleep, I sneaked back to their flat for a very different kind of get-together. Truth be told, the sex itself was bang average, which is why we never hooked up again. Yet this remains one of my favourite memories because the entire experience felt so wonderfully unexpected.
Why dating apps can't replicate real-life chemistry
I've always been a huge flirt because I love the thrill of not knowing what - or who - life might throw at you. But in today's world, I've found that spontaneous flings are increasingly hard to come by in real life. Dating apps have pretty much taken over the hook-up scene, and while I understand their appeal - I met my last two boyfriends on Tinder and have used the app for casual sex too - they simply can't replicate the magic of face-to-face connections.
It's difficult to build genuine chemistry through a screen, and you never truly know if you have a spark with someone until you're standing right in front of them. More and more people tell me they "wish they could meet someone offline," and having experienced both approaches, I know which memories I treasure most.
Take Caden*, whom I met at an awards show many years ago. We happened to be seated at the same table, and he was immediately charismatic, funny, and looked incredibly hot in his suit. By the time the after-party began, we were completely enamoured with each other, and my colleagues weren't surprised when they spotted us making out in a dark corner.
The sex was fantastic not just because Caden knew his way around a woman's body, but because of the built-up tension throughout the entire evening. The flirting, longing looks, and casual touches that silently said "I fancy you" created an electricity that's nearly impossible to recreate on an app.
Embracing spontaneity in modern dating
Another time, I shamelessly flirted with a security guard while entering a festival and slipped him my number. We dated for a few weeks before it ended when I discovered he had a girlfriend he'd conveniently failed to mention.
On another occasion, I asked a bartender to pass a note to a guy participating in speed dating on the other side of the pub. We ended up going for drinks afterwards and shared a hot makeout session. Then there was the night I shared a taxi with a handsome stranger when leaving a casino and found myself in his bed just thirty minutes later - absolute jackpot.
The spontaneity and real-life nature of these encounters made them infinitely more exciting. Not all of these romances worked out long-term, but I've never had to wonder "what if?" about any of them.
In my humble opinion, while many factors contribute to dating app fatigue, I believe the biggest problem is our fear of rejection or embarrassment. We don't want to make tits of ourselves or - shock horror - face rejection in person. It's far easier to hide behind our phones when dealing with potential rejection.
I've made an arse of myself numerous times, but these days I simply find it funny and accept that it's the price you pay for the chance at great love - or great sex. And trust me, it has been worth it every time.
To my fellow women - please don't be afraid to go for it. The days of waiting for men to make the first move are long gone. I understand that men might feel it's harder to approach women these days for fear of looking creepy, but if you're respectful, read the situation carefully, and accept the first "no" gracefully, it's perfectly acceptable to ask someone out in person.
Start by saying hello - you never know what epic love or mind-blowing sex might come from it.
*Names have been changed
