For Anna*, a 26-year-old bisexual woman from southeast England, maintaining an active sex life while managing severe endometriosis requires careful planning and innovative solutions. Working in media and communications, Anna has sex one to two times weekly with her boyfriend of four-and-a-half years, but their intimacy faces significant challenges due to her chronic condition.
Living With Endometriosis
Anna received her endometriosis diagnosis in 2023, though she first noticed pain during and after sex when she and her partner began dating. Endometriosis occurs when cells similar to those in the womb lining grow elsewhere in the body, commonly affecting the ovaries, fallopian tubes, and pelvic lining. The condition can cause severe period pain, heavy bleeding, fatigue, and pain during sexual intercourse.
"I find sex difficult to manage at times and I'd be lying if I said my condition hasn't come between mine and my partner's intimacy," Anna explains. The pain isn't just limited to penetration - even orgasms can feel painful due to her condition.
The Penetration Buffer Solution
During one intimate Friday evening, Anna demonstrates how she and her partner navigate these challenges. After beginning in missionary position, she must ask him to stop due to pain from deep penetration. Rather than ending their sexual encounter, she suggests using their "trusty penetration buffer" called the Ohnut.
The Ohnut consists of soft, stackable penis rings that limit penetration depth. Partners can use one ring or stack multiple rings together to create shallower penetration that avoids triggering pain. "We're able to carry on having sex until I climax, and we flip over in doggystyle until he finishes, while still controlling the depth using the buffer," Anna shares.
Support Beyond the Bedroom
Anna's boyfriend has been "amazing and lets me take the lead on our intimate times" from the beginning of their relationship. His understanding extends beyond sexual encounters to daily life management of her condition. He prepares meals designed to minimize her symptoms and provides comfort during pain flares.
"He was so supportive and understanding right from the get-go, and that's when I realised I loved him," Anna recalls. This support system proves crucial when painful moments unexpectedly arise, such as when orgasms trigger cramping that requires immediate comfort rather than continued intimacy.
Despite these challenges, the couple maintains their connection through daily flirting, cuddling, and open communication about Anna's pain levels and boundaries. Their approach demonstrates that managing endometriosis in relationships requires both practical solutions and emotional support.
