When was the last time someone properly took your clothes off? Not in that hurried, fumbling way, but with deliberate care and attention? For journalist Charlie Sawyer, this realisation sparked genuine concern about a disappearing intimate ritual.
In a recent conversation published on 19th November 2025, Sawyer confessed she couldn't remember a recent encounter where someone else had removed her top. This led to a worrying thought: the art of undressing is well and truly dead.
The Hurried Rush to Nakedness
Sawyer isn't alone in her observations. Fleurine Tideman, a 28-year-old journalist from Holland, recalls how in her early twenties, she and her boyfriend would always undress each other. 'But with recent partners, it's been more of a hurried process of getting our own clothes off,' she tells Metro. 'I feel embarrassed fumbling with their buttons and zips, and they feel eager to get to the naked part.'
Rovie Hernandez, a 28-year-old influencer manager from East London, shares a theory that the practice of sending nudes might be responsible. 'There's no longer that need to yearn and do the dance of getting naked together,' he explains.
Meanwhile, Aneesa Ahmed, a 25-year-old freelance writer from South London, wonders if hookup culture deserves some blame. 'I've been sexually active for long enough to know that what happens in the movies isn't always the same as reality,' she shares. Over the past year, Aneesa noticed men were focused solely on 'jumping to the good part' with a constant chorus of 'let's just get naked.'
The Psychological Impact of Lost Intimacy
According to sex therapist Lu Cook, this rush to nakedness reflects broader issues in modern sexuality. 'Mainstream porn tends to skip undressing altogether,' she notes, teaching us that 'arousal should be instant and bodies should always be 'ready.''
Gigi Engle, a sex and relationships psychotherapist, adds that many people enter sexual scenarios thinking they're supposed to behave like professional porn actors. 'Porn focuses on male pleasure, aggressive sex, choking, and intense penetration,' says Gigi. This paradigm means that 'sensuality and slowing things down is not considered sexy or desirable,' despite being crucial for many women's enjoyment.
The physical implications are significant too. 'It can take a cis female around 20 minutes to really become fully ready for sexual touch and to experience that level of pleasure,' Gigi explains. Undressing serves as an important stage in this physical preparation.
Why Undressing Matters Emotionally
Psychosexual and relationship therapist Lucy Frank emphasises the emotional significance. 'Undressing is one of the earliest, most tender rituals of intimacy,' she tells Metro. 'For many people, being undressed by a partner communicates care, desire, and presence. It's a gentle transition from everyday life into erotic connection.'
This slowness helps nervous systems settle, giving the body time to anticipate, feel wanted, and connect. Lu Cook agrees, noting that micro-moments like undressing can help sexual partners feel more bonded.
Ethan Holden, a 26-year-old producer from Manchester, describes the sensory experience: 'You're feeling the clothes leave your skin - like the metal of a zip or the tightness of the elastic - but it's not from your own control. You can be playful with it. The idea of my underwear being pulled off me gets me all hot and flustered.'
As Aneesa discovered when she found a partner who wanted to take their time undressing her, this attention to detail can transform the experience. He immediately became her 'favourite on the roster', proving that even in casual encounters, care and communication shouldn't be optional.
