The Cowgirl Conundrum: A Position Dividing the Bedroom
Recent discussions on Reddit have revealed a fascinating sexual divide: while many women enthusiastically embrace the cowgirl position for the control and confidence it provides, numerous men express significant reservations about this classic bedroom move. This revelation comes after similar conversations about women's general dislike of reverse cowgirl, prompting curiosity about which positions men might similarly avoid.
Why Women Champion Cowgirl
For many women, the cowgirl position represents empowerment and pleasure. Multiple female contributors to online forums describe enjoying "controlling the pace" during intimate moments, with several noting it makes them feel "sexy and confident." This position has even received professional endorsement from menopause experts at LloydsPharmacy Online Doctor, who recommend it specifically because it "allows for control over speed, intensity, angle, and depth which can be helpful to those with physical discomfort or experiencing dryness."
Despite some men's reservations, cowgirl remains remarkably popular, with 401,100 internet searches recorded in 2025 alone. It has emerged as the most favored position for residents in High Wycombe and Ipswich, demonstrating its enduring appeal across different communities.
The Male Perspective: Physical and Emotional Concerns
Men's objections to cowgirl often center on physical discomfort and anatomical considerations. One man explained that his penis has a "downward curve" that makes face-to-face positions like cowgirl "really tricky" and has "shattered his confidence." Another contributor expressed anxiety, stating, "Cowgirl always feels just a little like she might break my d**k."
Technical execution also plays a crucial role in men's enjoyment. "When [they're] on top, grinding [their] hips forwards and backwards just hurts the penis – it feels like you are looking for reverse and are getting ever more frustrated," one man described. Others noted that the position requires specific alignment, with one explaining, "I need my penis to be perpendicular to my body… otherwise it [feels] too tight."
Beyond physical concerns, some men simply find the position underwhelming. "I actually don't like it when she rides, it does very little for me," admitted one contributor, while another called it his most "eh" sexual situation.
Expert Insights on Position Preferences
Sexologist Gigi Engle provides important context for these differing experiences. She explains that "the quick up and down motion of cowgirl for men with really curved penises can be painful if women are going straight up and down, rather than leaning forward." Engle suggests that "women sliding up and down the body can make it work better for some guys" and emphasizes that "not every sex position works for everyone, and that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you or that the sex isn't good."
Dr. Laura Vowels, a sex and relationships expert, stresses the importance of communication regardless of position preferences. "With any sexual partner you have, even if you've only recently met them, be completely honest about what turns you on and get to know their desires, too," she advises. "Effective communication and honesty can help ensure even first-time encounters are enjoyable for all parties involved."
The Reverse Perspective: Women's Least Favorite
This conversation about cowgirl follows similar discussions about reverse cowgirl, which many women actively dislike. Hundreds of women on Reddit have expressed dissatisfaction with this position, citing both physical discomfort and emotional disconnection. "The angle doesn't do anything for me and staring at my partner's legs and feet isn't my favourite view," one woman explained.
Another contributor described reverse cowgirl as "like getting poked in the wrong direction. Super uncomfortable and the view isn't great," while a third noted discomfort with "staring at feet, plus feeling awkward about my a**hole pointed at him."
Cate Campbell, a BACP-accredited sex therapist and co-host of The Real Sex Education podcast, explains that "some women find this position a complete turn off because it makes them feel self-conscious, especially as they usually have no eye contact with their partner." She adds that "having their back to their partner is a major issue for some who may say they feel a bit used, particularly when they don't experience much pleasure from the position."
The Universal Truth: Subjectivity in Sexual Preferences
Ultimately, experts agree that sexual preferences are highly individual. Gigi Engle summarizes this perfectly: "Sex positions are really subjective, if you don't like cowgirl that's completely fine." The key takeaway from these discussions is that open communication about preferences, comfort levels, and physical considerations remains essential for satisfying intimate experiences.
As these Reddit conversations demonstrate, what brings pleasure and confidence to one partner might create discomfort or disinterest for another. The solution lies not in finding universally perfect positions, but in developing the communication skills to navigate these differences with honesty and respect.
