Prof Craig Jackson, professor of occupational health psychology at Birmingham City University, responds to Polly Hudson's article on the benefits of holding grudges. Hudson's piece, published on 5 July, extolled the virtues of grievances for maintaining sanity and self-esteem, but Jackson offers a counterpoint on the hidden toll.
The art of grudges and self-regard
Jackson notes that holding grudges can be an elegant art form, but it is also a sign of the amount of self-regard one has. The commitment required can be a marathon effort, involving extra work, mileage, expense, inconvenience, and missing out—all in the name of valuing one's own worth. It is tiring, but even more so for others caught up in it, and can be futile if the target is never aware.
Decision-making and modern frustrations
Just as important is the formation of decisions about whom to develop a grudge against. According to Jackson, this can be a form of holding the line against a world that has become increasingly difficult to navigate. The rise of apps and the decline of customer service mean shops and services that don't add to our quest for increasing convenience and simplicity become the focus of our ire and boycotts.
Low-level narcissistic injury
Sometimes this low-level narcissistic injury sees people move through their world seeking out those who they perceive have slighted them, taking it personally and adding them to 'the list' of who to hold a grudge against. Jackson's response highlights the psychological costs of such behavior, offering a different perspective on the practice of holding grudges.
