In the painting Odysseus Longing for Home by Alexander Rothaug, the classical hero's yearning resonates deeply with modern struggles. Similarly, Frank Tallis's book Wise: Finding Purpose, Meaning and Wisdom Beyond the Midpoint of Life offers a compelling guide to navigating the turbulent waters of midlife. This review delves into how Tallis, a clinical psychologist, transforms the often-dreaded midlife crisis into an opportunity for growth and heroism.
Diagnosing the Midlife Crisis
Tallis begins by diagnosing the root causes of midlife crises, drawing on Ernest Becker's 1973 study The Denial of Death. He argues that in Western societies, particularly in Britain, there is a pervasive reluctance to confront mortality. For instance, open coffins are avoided, relatives often die in hospitals rather than at home, and euphemisms like "pass away" replace the word "die." In today's Instagram-dominated world, filters and distractions shield us from reality until it becomes unavoidable—such as losing parents and realising we are next in line. This confrontation with mortality can trigger a crisis, but Tallis suggests it is a necessary awakening.
Comfort and Transformation
Rather than viewing a midlife crisis as shameful, Tallis offers comfort by reframing it as a heroic journey. He references Joseph Campbell's concept of the hero's descent to the underworld, a myth found across cultures. This low point, Tallis explains, is pivotal, leading to triumphs in life's second act. Examples from literature illustrate this: in Homer's Odyssey, Odysseus learns of his mother's death while in the land of the dead, and Dante's Inferno opens with the protagonist lost in a dark wood mid-journey. By aligning personal crises with these epic tales, Tallis normalises the experience, showing that even figures like Odysseus and Dante faced similar struggles.
The Role of Wisdom and Meaning
The book structures its exploration chronologically, with chapters like Denial and Acceptance, hinting at wisdom as an endpoint. However, Tallis avoids prescribing a one-size-fits-all answer, echoing Nietzsche's idea that each person must build their own bridge across life's river. A personal anecdote reveals Tallis's own vulnerability: in his late teens, he was deceived into joining a cult, straining family ties and making regrettable financial decisions. This honesty adds depth, illustrating that wisdom often arises from personal trials.
Anthony Storr's observation that many self-proclaimed messiahs find their calling during midlife crises is noted, though Tallis cautions against such extremes. Instead, he emphasises the search for meaning, inspired by Viktor Frankl's experiences in Nazi camps, where survivors clung to purpose amid horror. This perspective encourages readers to find their own meaning, potentially through therapy or reflection.
Key Takeaways and Recommendations
From Wise, readers might adopt Stoic practices to live more comfortably with death, reducing its terror. The book also prompts exploration of referenced works, such as those by Frankl and Becker. At over 200 pages, it grips with its insightful blend of psychology and mythology, making it a worthwhile reread for anyone facing midlife challenges. Tallis's work is not just a guide but a companion for those seeking purpose beyond life's midpoint.
Wise: Finding Purpose, Meaning and Wisdom Beyond the Midpoint of Life by Frank Tallis is published by Abacus, priced at £22. It stands as a valuable resource for understanding and embracing the transformative potential of midlife crises.
