John Ball, now 33, was just 25 when his wife Fliss died from breast cancer in 2019. Seven years on, he shares how he navigated profound loss, found support, and eventually rebuilt his life, including a new engagement.
A Young Couple's Plan Derailed by Cancer
John and Fliss first met as friends in sixth form, began dating three years later, and got engaged at 20. Just months after their engagement in 2013, Fliss received a devastating breast cancer diagnosis. John described it as 'a wall suddenly coming down in front of the future they had been planning.'
Despite the diagnosis, they were determined to marry. They planned the wedding around Fliss's treatments, with John noting that 'anything materialistic, like what type of flowers do you want or what kind of bunting we should have, all of a sudden became very small and insignificant.' The couple married on August 16, 2014, in their village church, with their honeymoon spent visiting a cancer ward a week later.
Remission, Relapse, and Loss
Twelve months after her initial diagnosis, Fliss went into remission. But a yearly check-up revealed the cancer had returned as stage four secondary breast cancer, with only life-preserving measures available. John remembers the news as 'an absolute sledgehammer,' adding, 'We were told quite bluntly that there's only one way this ends. In some ways that was oddly liberating. We could make the most of each day.'
Two years later, in 2019, Fliss passed away at age 25. John, who had been caring for her full-time while studying and working part-time delivering pizzas, was by her side at the hospice. He described the period as being 'frozen in time,' struggling with the alienation of being a young widower: 'Being a widow at 25, it's probably one of the most alienating experiences I can imagine.'
Finding Support and Rebuilding
Six months after Fliss's death, John sought counselling. His therapist recommended the charity Widowed and Young (WAY), which supports people aged 50 or under whose partner has died. John found comfort in their online forums, saying, 'Even just reading other people's posts broadened my horizon that there's other people like me out there.'
In 2021, John returned to university to study environmental management, where he met Alice. Initially just friends, their relationship grew after graduation. John admitted, 'I thought I was unlovable. I felt like a bag of broken parts… who's going to want to be with me? I still love my wife, and I didn't know how to navigate that.' Through one-on-one therapy, he came to understand that 'your heart is big enough to love two people.'
A New Chapter
In September 2025, John and Alice got engaged. He said, 'It was a big step – but knowing that I'm in a place where I can plan a wedding and want to get married again is a beautiful thing.' The couple plans to travel together, and John continues to attend WAY meetings for support. He reflects, 'I am a different person now in many ways. There's many parts of me that have changed, yet I am a person built by my story and what I've experienced.'
