When Emma Amoscato's husband Carl passed away following a seven-year battle with cancer, she chose to forgo a traditional, sombre funeral. Instead, she planned a vibrant, laughter-filled celebration of life that included sequins, popcorn, and even a taco costume worn by their daughter.
Rejecting Tradition for Personal Meaning
Emma, a 43-year-old Bedfordshire resident who runs a mental health app called Smile, explains that Carl, a TV editor, had always believed that memorials were for the living rather than the deceased. With two children aged nine and twelve, and still processing the shock of Carl's sudden death from a perforated pancreas in September 2024, Emma questioned the value of a conventional funeral.
'Putting myself and the kids through that traditional process, while having to shoulder everyone else's grief before we'd even processed our own, didn't seem right for our family,' Emma states. She gave herself six months to organise a more joyous occasion, describing typical crematoriums as 'depressing places that didn't feel like us.'
A Celebration Filled with Laughter and Personal Touches
The resulting memorial took place at a local community-run theatre with 85 guests. Emma collaborated with friends to create a film tribute showcasing Carl's humour, with popcorn served as attendees were ushered in to watch. There was no eulogy or solemn procession—just conversation, drinks, and shared stories.
Guests painted messages on rocks for a water feature Carl had planned for their garden, while Emma wore a rainbow-sequined dress with cowboy boots. Their daughter Amalia donned a taco costume, and son James opted for jogging bottoms and a t-shirt. 'Carl was very much not a formal person. The dress code was simply wear what makes you happy,' Emma recalls.
By waiting before holding the memorial, Emma believes she and her children had essential time to grieve. 'We'd already received condolences. I didn't feel sad on the day; it was a positive experience surrounded by laughter and joy. Carl would have loved it—it was very him.'
Changing Attitudes Toward Death Across the UK
Across the nation, attitudes toward mortality are evolving. Death cafes and clubs are emerging where people discuss dying and grief openly over coffee and cake. In Colchester, bookshop manager Jo Coldwell and nurse Laura Beesley founded a Death Club that meets monthly in the back room of Red Lion Books.
'It's not a grief club, though grief comes into it,' explains Jo, 55. 'It's about making death normal again—something we can talk about without awkwardness or fear.' The pair bonded through personal loss; Laura experienced a miscarriage while her father battled pancreatic cancer, losing him shortly after.
Finding Solace and Levity in Shared Experiences
The Death Club provides a space for raw emotional sharing, blending grief with lightness. Jo has even compiled a list of people to notify when she dies, including her regular coffee vendor. 'If I didn't turn up, he'd think I'd gone off his coffee and be really upset. I'd hate that,' she says.
Laura admits to reading coroner's reports online after a colleague's death, something she initially felt embarrassed about. 'Talking to people in Death Club helped me realise it was nothing to be ashamed of,' she notes. 'It's not always heavy; sometimes it's hilarious.' The group's impact has been recognised with Compassionate Community Champion status from St Helena Hospice.
The Rise of Living Wakes and Personalised Memorials
When Chris Dobson learned his acute myeloid leukaemia had returned in 2016, his daughter Catherine, a celebrant from Lancashire, suggested a living wake. After arranging a helicopter flight over his childhood areas, they held a gathering at a local pub with a professional photographer.
'A couple of people didn't come because they thought it was morbid, but everybody else embraced it. It felt like a lovely family gathering,' Catherine remembers. Chris spent three hours at his own wake, sharing memories and receiving drinks before growing weak. He died two weeks later.
'Without the party, he would never have got around to everyone. It was nice to enable people to let Dad know what he meant to him,' Catherine adds. As a celebrant, she notes that living wakes can also help manage rising funeral costs. 'If I find out I'm dying, I'm having a massive party. I would want to go out on a high!'
The Data Behind the Shift
According to SunLife's 2025 Cost of Dying report, sombre funeral songs are being replaced by personalised choices like Technotronic's 'Pump Up the Jam' or The Prodigy's 'Firestarter.' Co-op Funeralcare reports that 68% of funerals in 2024 were 'celebrations of life,' up from 58% in 2019, featuring themed services, glittery coffins, and even pet guests.
The same report indicates that low-cost, no-fuss options are growing, with direct cremations accounting for 20% of UK funerals last year, up sharply from 3% in 2019. Eco-conscious alternatives like mushroom coffins, ash reefs, biodegradable pods, and human composting are also gaining mainstream popularity.
This movement toward death positivity and personalised memorials reflects a broader cultural shift in how Britons approach life's final chapter, choosing celebration over sorrow and personal expression over convention.
