A Snowy Encounter That Changed Everything
Walking into the historic hotel at the bottom of her road on a snowy Sunday morning in January 2019, Alison Larkin asked the receptionist for a copy of the New York Times. "Sorry, the last one's just been taken," came the reply, with the receptionist pointing over her shoulder at a man standing nearby. Looking over, Alison noticed he had the most beautiful brown eyes. "I'm sorry, I took the last paper," he said, immediately handing her his copy. That simple, generous act marked the beginning of an extraordinary love story.
Two Lives Converging
Alison, then 54, thanked him and returned everything but the Sunday crossword, explaining it was the only reason she wanted the paper because it was so much easier than Saturday's puzzle. His agreement came with a laugh that joined with hers. Before meeting Bhima, Alison had assumed falling in love was something other people did, like making lists or keeping their house tidy. Her preference had been to avoid love altogether, putting her energy into her career instead.
Despite this inclination, she had married, had two children, and divorced. Her career had included having her own TV sitcom under development, which led to six years in Los Angeles. However, when her children were born in 2000 and 2002, she knew she couldn't raise them in Hollywood, where she felt the prevailing philosophy was "I may not be much, but I'm all I ever think about." So she quit her comedy career, wrote her novel The English American, and moved into what she describes as voluntary rural exile in a small Massachusetts town.
Building a Connection
After bonding over the newspaper, Bhima asked Alison to walk with him in the snow. As they talked, he revealed he had immigrated to the United States from India in 1988 at age 22 to pursue a PhD and now worked in renewable energy. Within that time, he had experienced one short marriage and several relationships, jokingly lamenting that American women could be "confrontational" and "exhausting." Alison responded that she found American men to be much the same.
She shared her own story of coming to the US from Sussex in 1993 at age 28 to find her birth mother in Tennessee, which led to careers as a stand-up comic, audiobook narrator, and novelist. Their connection deepened rapidly, and they spent every spare moment together hiking, listening to jazz, traveling, meeting each other's families, and falling deeply in love. Alison's children had never seen her laugh so much and were thrilled by the transformation in their mother.
A Sudden and Devastating Loss
Eighteen months after their first meeting, in July 2020, Bhima proposed to Alison during a walk by a river. They were radiantly happy at the prospect of spending their lives together. Just five days later, Bhima said he wasn't feeling well and had developed a fever. Concerned, they called a doctor who advised him to go to hospital for a Covid-19 test.
Due to lockdown restrictions, Alison wasn't allowed to accompany him inside, so she waited by the car. After about thirty minutes, he sent a text telling her he loved her, to which she immediately responded in kind. A short while later, a security guard approached her car with devastating news: Bhima had been left alone briefly, and when medical staff returned, they found him on the floor in cardiac arrest. Her brilliant, beautiful 54-year-old fiancé had been pronounced dead.
Navigating Immediate Aftermath
On the surface, Alison functioned calmly and well, but inside she had gone completely numb. The immediate aftermath included a funeral watched by Bhima's family and friends worldwide via Zoom. During a particularly moving eulogy delivered by Bhima's brother, everyone watching heard Alison's father ask, "Is that Bhima's brother? It looks like he's standing on his head!" followed by her mother's voice saying, "I think you've got the iPad upside down, Rob." Alison reflects that Bhima would have loved the moment.
In the weeks that followed, she spent her days avoiding people, work, and food. A month after his death, while curled up on the sofa in her usual position, she experienced what she describes as hearing his voice in her head saying, "Alison, life's short and you're alive now. It's time to get into the best physical shape of your life." She clarifies she didn't actually hear his voice but knew what he was communicating.
Transformation Through Movement and Creativity
Responding to this internal prompting, Alison began working out earnestly for the first time in years, running, doing pushups, and scampering about on mountains where she and Bhima had walked together. Approximately three months after his death, when the numbness began to thaw, she was astonished to find herself filled with extra energy and a kind of deep joy.
This transformation led her to write a new solo show titled Grief... A Comedy about her relationship with Bhima, which received rave reviews at the Soho Theatre in Edinburgh and London. She then returned to America to finish writing a follow-up book of the same name. The show, with music by Emmy award winner Gary Schreiner, begins six weeks after Bhima's death when he metaphorically appears at Alison's kitchen table determined to help her find love again.
A Continuing Bond and New Perspective
Alison believes she will find true love again but feels she must first keep her promise to tell her story as widely as possible. While uncertain about what lies ahead romantically, when missing her true love, she finds that if she gets very still, she can sense Bhima right beside her, knowing exactly what he would say. She emphasizes she's not alone in this experience, hearing daily from people of all backgrounds who report feeling a continuing bond with loved ones who have passed.
Bhima taught her that easy, truly compatible love is worth waiting for, and she vows never again to waste time settling for relationships that require excessive effort or to numb pain through overwork. Her journey through late-found love, devastating loss, and transformative grief has reshaped her understanding of connection, resilience, and what it means to truly live after loss.
