A woman who believed she had finally found her dream partner after a series of disastrous relationships has been left devastated after discovering the man she loved was a manipulator who abandoned her at her most vulnerable. The reader, who shared her story with counsellor and columnist Laura Collins, revealed that her boyfriend, who had swept her off her feet and professed his love within weeks, coerced her into terminating a pregnancy before disappearing completely and blocking all contact.
A Fairy-Tale Romance Turns Sour
After several failed relationships, the woman met a charming and handsome man at a party last Christmas. He quickly won over her friends and family, and within three weeks of dating, he declared his love for her. Although she felt it was soon, she decided to embrace the relationship. They spent most of their time at her place, enjoying quiet dinners, watching TV, and having what she described as great sex. He rarely wanted to socialize, which she now realizes was a tactic to isolate her.
In April, the woman discovered she was pregnant. Expecting her boyfriend to be thrilled, she was instead met with a strange reaction. Initially, he claimed to be pleased, but over the following days, he began persuading her to have a termination, arguing they 'weren't ready' to start a family. He painted a picture of a future together, complete with marriage, a house, and savings, even setting a wedding date and expressing his desire to spend his life with her and their future family.
The Disappearing Act
Against her better judgment, the woman agreed to the termination. Within a month, her boyfriend announced a job offer in Scotland, where she was supposed to join him. However, he never followed through. He has now completely disappeared, blocking her from all forms of communication. The woman is devastated, realizing the relationship was built on lies and that she has lost the baby she wanted.
Laura Collins, a counsellor with 30 years of experience in newspaper advice columns, responded to the reader's dilemma with firm advice. 'I'm so sorry you find yourself in this situation, but trust me, you're well shot of him. What a creep and liar he has turned out to be,' she wrote. Collins identified the man's behavior as typical of a manipulative narcissist, whose sole aim was to control her through love-bombing and isolation.
Recognizing the Signs of a Narcissist
Collins explained that the man's reluctance to socialize was likely the beginning of isolating the woman from her support network. 'Those nights with just the two of you were almost certainly the start of isolating you from family and friends,' she said. The type of man described, she added, does not want the responsibilities of fatherhood, which would interfere with his fun and create financial and practical burdens.
Such relationships rarely end well, Collins warned, often involving cheating, violence, or financial and emotional abuse. 'Once the narcissist has gained your love and adoration, the true self comes out,' she noted. She advised the reader to seek specialist counselling to process the termination and to look for support groups where she could connect with other women who have had similar experiences.
Healing and Moving Forward
Collins emphasized the importance of grieving and allowing time for healing. 'Let yourself grieve and remember that healing is a personal journey. Take your time to recover from this horrible betrayal and be glad this sleazebag is no longer in your life. You deserve better,' she wrote. The columnist also highlighted that the reader is not alone, as many women face similar manipulative partners.
The woman's story serves as a cautionary tale about the dangers of love-bombing and the importance of recognizing red flags in relationships. While the pain of the betrayal and the loss of the pregnancy are profound, Collins's advice offers a path forward through professional support and self-compassion. The reader is encouraged to reach out for help and to trust that better days lie ahead.
