For many, Christmas is a time of celebration synonymous with festive tipples. But for those choosing to avoid alcohol, the season can bring a unique set of anxieties and pressures.
The Reality Behind the Festive Fantasy
Dr Antonia Saunokonoko, a psychotherapist specialising in addiction, notes that clients often seek help navigating the holiday period. One client, referred to as Peter, faced a common dilemma: hosting a large family gathering where heavy drinking was the entrenched tradition.
Peter feared ridicule, pressure to drink, and the feeling of being left out if he stuck to soft drinks. However, Dr Saunokonoko highlights a crucial insight: people struggling with alcohol often find Christmas far more enjoyable when they stay sober. The unpredictable nature of addiction means a single drink can lead to unforeseen consequences, hardly a foundation for a merry celebration.
Bridging the Gap Between Expectation and Experience
The therapeutic work began by examining the chasm between Peter's idealised Christmas fantasy and the reality of past years. He imagined harmonious family fun, but the reality involved arguments, criticism, and financial strain leading to January debt.
Most tellingly, Peter fantasised about moderate drinking. The reality was that he would drink until his wife was annoyed and he would vent angry truths at relatives, embarrassing his children. Through this process, a new, authentic vision emerged: a simple, alcohol-free picnic by the water with his immediate family, one meaningful gift each, a film, and an early night.
The Liberating Power of Setting Boundaries
Armed with this clarity, Peter made a brave decision. He called his relatives to say he would not be hosting the large gathering. Prioritising his sobriety and needs felt alien, as he was accustomed to pleasing others.
The outcome was unexpectedly positive. His brother confided that he too disliked the pressure of big get-togethers and was supportive of Peter's sobriety journey. They even wondered which other family members might benefit from a similar change.
Dr Saunokonoko concludes that Christmas difficulties often stem not from a lack of alcohol, but from complex family dynamics. Keeping things real and focusing on a personally meaningful celebration can be a powerful tool for maintaining sobriety. For those choosing a sober path this year, careful planning and managing expectations may be the key to a genuinely relaxing and special festive season.
