When Yashi Banymadhub turned to formula to feed her newborn baby, she never anticipated the wave of judgment and guilt that would follow. "You shouldn't use formula, that stuff is made in a lab. You can do it if you put your mind to it," came the unexpected response from a close friend during a vulnerable moment just two months after giving birth.
The Weight of Unrealistic Expectations
Banymadhub found herself in what she describes as "the newborn trenches," struggling with milk supply while bottle feeding with a combination of breast milk and formula. "Not a day had passed without the mental self-flagellation and the sense that I'd already failed at motherhood," she recalls. The friend's comment didn't just hurt—it sparked fury that someone who had never breastfed could express such confident opinions while bypassing her evident exhaustion.
When Medical Reality Intervenes
Her plans for exclusive breastfeeding dissolved on day two when doctors placed her jaundiced baby on formula to help flush the condition from his system. Combined with a sleepless week in a noisy maternity ward featuring just one ill-fitting breast pump and relentless colic, her breastfeeding aspirations grew increasingly bleak with each passing day.
The Information Gap
During pregnancy, Banymadhub attended hospital classes emphasizing breastfeeding benefits but found crucial practical information missing. "If the antenatal classes I went to had focused less on these benefits and more on how milk production worked, I might have had an easier time figuring it out," she reflects.
Three weeks postpartum, a health visitor delivered another blow when Banymadhub optimistically mentioned returning to exclusive breastfeeding. The visitor explained that achieving a full supply typically required expressing 500-700mls of breastmilk over 24 hours by week two—information that shocked the new mother who wondered why her classes hadn't covered this reality.
The Physical and Emotional Toll
For the first five months, Banymadhub fed her child formula alongside whatever breast milk she could express. "The guilt I felt was gut-wrenching and eroded my confidence as a new mother," she admits. At two months, she was waking nightly to express milk, attempting to maintain supply while feeding her "nipple-confused" child who exclusively demanded bottles.
She avoided breastfeeding support classes, unable to face additional pressure or guilt. When directed toward La Leche League, she felt put off by their guide titled The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, finding it both condescending and insufficiently inclusive of diverse gender identities.
Questionable Advice and Health Concerns
A La Leche League advisor suggested Domperidone—an anti-sickness drug that triggers lactation as a side effect but carries risks of serious cardiac events. Banymadhub declined, recognizing that no struggling new parent should receive such recommendations while already grappling with exhaustion and irrational fears about their capability to care for their baby.
"My mental health was struggling—I was depressed from lack of sleep and the exhaustion of caring for a newborn," she confesses. "On top of that I felt like I was failing my baby."
The Formula For Change Campaign
In October 2023, Metro joined forces with family support charity Feed to launch Formula For Change, calling on government to review infant formula legislation and allow retailers to accept loyalty points, food bank vouchers, and store gift cards as payment. The campaign achieved significant milestones:
- Gathered over 106,000 petition signatures
- Received backing from the Labour party
- Partnered with Mumsnet and Iceland—the first supermarket to lower formula costs
- Gained support from Chris Webb MP, LadBaby, Ashley James, Michelle Heaton, and numerous family services and charities
- Prompted DHSC confirmation that foodbanks can supply formula
- Secured CMA recommendations for supermarkets to allow loyalty points/vouchers for formula purchases
On December 3, 2025, in a major victory for the campaign, Keir Starmer announced government plans to make formula more affordable and permit families to use loyalty points and vouchers for purchases.
Judgment From Unexpected Quarters
Banymadhub discovered her friend wasn't alone in offering unsolicited opinions. When her husband fed their four-month-old in a park, a stranger commented, "It's nice to help out but breast is best," leaving her husband speechless before the man disappeared.
"There are so many reasons why someone would not breastfeed," Banymadhub emphasizes. "It requires privilege—neurodivergent mothers might struggle with sensory overwhelm, while those who have experienced childhood sexual abuse have a hard time breastfeeding because of shame and dissociation."
Small Victories and Moving Forward
Banymadhub experienced a brief moment of closure when her four-month-old, feverish and temporarily forgetting nipple confusion, accepted breastfeeding for several feeds. "I was so happy I cried," she remembers, though the breakthrough proved temporary.
On New Year's Day 2025, as her son turned five months and approached solid foods, the family celebrated as he drank the last 20mls of dwindling breastmilk from a bottle. "I was ecstatic to finally choose sleep over the breast pump," she says, describing the lightheartedness that followed in subsequent weeks.
The Broader Cultural Problem
In a revealing reversal, breastfeeding friends introducing solid foods have reported facing questions about why they haven't stopped nursing. "It proved one thing," Banymadhub observes: "when it comes to feeding infants, people love to make parents feel bad."
UK statistics reveal only 1% of babies are exclusively breastfed by six months, with 73% receiving formula in the first six weeks. NHS-approved formula remains safe when prepared according to guidelines, yet judgment persists.
"I've learnt not to listen to them, and neither should you," Banymadhub concludes. "Do whatever works best for you and your child, because in the end that's all that matters."
