Across Britain, a subtle but significant shift is occurring within marriages. Couples are increasingly embracing what relationship experts call 'quiet divorce' - the phenomenon where partners emotionally check out of their marriage without formally separating or even telling their spouse.
What Exactly is Quiet Divorce?
Quiet divorce describes the state where couples continue living together but exist in a relationship characterised by deep, resigned unhappiness. Rather than pursuing legal divorce proceedings, individuals gradually lower their expectations of the marriage and forge separate lives while maintaining the outward appearance of a functioning partnership.
This concept bears striking resemblance to the workplace trend of 'quiet quitting,' where employees do the bare minimum without formally resigning. Similarly, in quiet divorce, partners remain married in name but have emotionally checked out of the relationship.
Why Couples Choose This Path
The reasons for opting for quiet divorce instead of legal separation are numerous and often heartbreaking. A Buzzfeed article from last year titled '25 Unhappily Married People Are Sharing Why They'll Never Get a Divorce' revealed common motivations including concerns about children, dealing with illness, financial dependence, and the fear of being alone.
As one woman interviewed by Monica Corcoran Harel for the Cut explained, 'going zombie' in her marriage actually brought relief. 'I lowered my overall expectations, which lowered my disappointment in my husband — and in myself,' she said, adding that emotionally checking out 'freed me up to learn how to make jewellery too.'
The Compromise of Staying Together Apart
Proponents argue that quiet divorce represents a practical compromise in an era where modern dating presents its own challenges. Facing dating apps filled with insecurity, disappointing behaviour, and desperation can make remaining in an unfulfilling marriage seem preferable to some.
This arrangement allows individuals to maintain financial stability, keep their family unit intact for children, and preserve comfortable routines and living situations. The alternative - navigating the emotional and financial turmoil of divorce - appears daunting to many.
As relationship dynamics continue to evolve in contemporary Britain, quiet divorce represents another way couples are redefining marriage to suit their circumstances, for better or worse.
