The impending social media ban for children under 16, while welcomed by many, is set to create a significant void in the lives of countless British teenagers. As this new legislation comes into force, experts are urging parents to play a pivotal role in helping their children navigate this substantial shift, both emotionally and practically.
Listening, Not Lecturing: The First Step for Parents
According to parenting specialists, the initial parental response is crucial. Prof Lelia Green from Edith Cowan University emphasises that keeping communication channels open is more important than trying to master every new digital platform.
Derek McCormack, director of the Raising Children Network, agrees, stating that when a teenager is stressed about the ban, parents should focus on listening without immediately trying to fix the situation or justify the new rules. "Often, teenagers aren’t expecting parents to fix things – they just want them to listen," McCormack explains.
Dr Jo Orlando, author of "Generation Connected: How to parent in a digital world," contextualises this by highlighting the developmental stage of teenagers. "When you’re a teenager, your life is all about your friends," she says, noting that this is a fundamental part of their social development. The perceived loss is profound, with Orlando sharing an example of a 15-year-old who has been crying nightly, feeling unfairly punished.
Practical Strategies for Filling the Void
Acknowledging the genuine loss teens will experience is the first step. Dr Kristy Corser, a research fellow with Digital Child at the Queensland University of Technology, recommends asking open-ended questions and truly hearing them out, as this represents a major change for many young people.
Experts suggest several practical approaches for parents:
- Initiate conversations about the legislation and how your child is responding to it.
- Help them brainstorm alternative ways to connect with friends, such as using WhatsApp, Signal, or Messenger for group chats.
- Explore new or existing activities they might enjoy, like sports, art, camping, or other family and friend-oriented pursuits.
Prof Green also recommends reassuring your teen that you are there to support them if their own plans for staying connected encounter problems.
Maintaining Vigilance and Setting Boundaries
Despite the ban, experts caution parents against complacency. Psychologist Justin Coulson expresses concern that the ban might offer a false sense of security. "I’m concerned that too many parents will think they can take their foot off the accelerator... Nothing can be further from the truth," he warns.
This is because teens may find workarounds, and many other platforms and messaging apps not on the restricted list will remain accessible. Dr Corser notes, "If the platform is not on the age social media delay, it does not necessarily mean those other apps are safe for teens. So I wouldn’t say it takes parents off the hook."
Prof Green echoes this, warning of a "whack-a-mole" situation where young people simply migrate to other, unregulated social media channels or dark web platforms to communicate.
For setting boundaries, Green suggests developing a family technology plan, ideally instilling habits like keeping connected devices out of bedrooms from a young age. Coulson advocates for his "three Es of effective discipline" model:
- Explore: Understand your child's perspective.
- Explain: Clearly communicate your expectations and the reasons behind them.
- Empower: Collaborate on finding a solution that works for everyone.
Parents are advised to stay alert to changes in mood or behaviour that might indicate adverse online experiences. If direct communication breaks down, enlisting a trusted relative, friend, or older sibling can help. Providing access to helpline numbers, such as the NSPCC for UK children, is also a recommended safety net.
